I dont think we are saying contradictory things.
From the example you give - leaving home for a better future and swallowing the pain of leaving home - I dont call it 'sacrificing', happines, but rather being pragmatic - I have to leave home because thats how I can be happy afterwards...
I guess - I dont call leaving home as sacrificing 'happiness', because as you said - you might have to be away for - one yr, maybe 2?, 3? 5?...and sacrificing happiness - means that one is unhappy for all these years.
I am uncomfortable with this because if you have a feeling of 'unhappiness' all the time inside you, its very difficult to do great things, one does not settle down to what life has to offer in a new place - and is always craving for what one left behind home.
No - I would say, accept the fact that you have to leave home (pragmatism), and do the best to achieve what you want and believe in your karma...that how much effort you put you will reap all of it...
I guess for me - 'happiness' is not material good - but to be at 'peace with myself and my surroundings', to love what is there already and to be positive...
And that is why I said that 'a right decision' cannot be linked with unhappiness...it will go hand in hand with positive energy of happiness.
In a way we are saying the same thing. At the same time there is some confusion as to happiness and what it means to be happy.
Leaving home is a big sacrifice w.r.t. happiness because as they say home is where the heart is! But like you said one has to be pragmatic and sacrifice happiness for a better tomorrow.
Also you might be totally at peace with your surroundings when you are away from home. You might have better set of friends than what you had back home and be whole lot happier. But forever there will be a shadow on all your celebrations and moments of joy. The shadow of seperation, of not having your loved ones to share those moments with.
Being at peace is more a lack of emotions and feeling. You are at peace when you feel neither happiness nor sadness. It means your emotions have been unplugged. When you meditate you cut yourself off from the world and empty your brain. You can be at peace anywhere and in any situation. As far as being positive is concerned it has nothing to do with happiness. Often we need to be our positive best when surrounded by problems. A positive outlook often leads to happiness by making you stronger and more able to handle tough situations in life.
I am uncomfortable with this because if you have a feeling of 'unhappiness' all the time inside you, its very difficult to do great things, one does not settle down to what life has to offer in a new place - and is always craving for what one left behind home.
Finally like I said I think all great things in this world have come about as a direct result of people being unhappy and then channeling that unhappiness into action.
India is a free country because people were unhappy with their lot under the British and decided to do something about it. Recently democracy was restored in Nepal when angry and unhappy people channeled their negative emotions into action.
Remember the ultimate goal of unhappiness and sworrow is to bring joy, if you are positive and practical!
As Agatha Christie puts it:
“Most successes are unhappy. That's why they are successes - they have to reassure themselves about themselves by achieving something that the world will notice.”
2 comments:
Actually I would not mind what you are saying - It is different points of looking at things, a point of view which is shaped by the persons we are...
Only problem is - you insist on quoting me and then giving it an explanation - totally different from what I mean..
I live away far away from home. I spent my initial years in a different country missing home all the time - as a result I was emotionally vulnerable and got myself into situations that in retrospective were not really good for me.
So - at one point of time I told myself - enough is enough. I need to find happines around me, I need to be at peace with myself and my surroundings. I have to stop bing unhappy!
And well it worked for me - this country is my second home now. I miss home - and I try and bridge the gaps and take care from a distance. I am happy - that my family is happy back at home. And my family is happy - because they know that I am happy here.
And I refuse to accept that - I am emotions unplugged! And once somebody told me - that it was very difficult for people with deep family values to work in another country. And my first question was - do you mean that all the people who are working away from their families and are happy - have any less family value?
I should have explained better - what being at peace for me means. For me - it is being at peace with your inner self...the inner voice which keeps talking all the time. Being at peace in that sense - means making your action and thoughts or soul go together...
Yes, positive feelings and energy goes with happiness and unhappiness at something - may lead to happiness.... But it will happen only when you dont let unhappiness drown you first by taking an action which might not really be positive...
Last - we are all different people - and happiness and being happy has diverse meanings for all or us. There is no one meaning to be happy - so I dont think there is any confusion between us. Or that one meaning is correct and the other is not....
Well whatever happens I hope you do find your kind of happiness.
:) I never said you were emotions unplugged. I said that when we are at peace we usually unplug our emotions because our emotions tend to disturb the equilibrium. Happiness is a positive disturbance, sadness a negative one!
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