In my continuing effort to try and understand women I thought I would explore their shopping habits.
Let us look at a typical shopping scenario where a girl goes shopping with her boyfriend (or for that matter any other close male friend).
So it goes something like this:
It is a sunny Saturday morning, for sure there is a good cricket match/movie on TV or something equally exciting is happening somewhere. You (the guy) have been dragged out of bed (oh what a warm bed it was!) just because your 'female friend' wants to go shopping and she can't find anyone else (stupid enough) to go with her!
When she pounced on you as you were enjoying the warmth of your bed you finally understood how a deer feels when it sees a lioness pouncing on it. You swear to all the Gods of all the religions that next time you WILL NOT pick up the phone. Next time you will CONTROL your emotions and if need be you will be RUDE. Then (being a man) you face reality. You stop lying to yourself and accept that you are now trapped.
Now you are standing in some XYZ shopping mall (man they are springing up everywhere, like trees used to some time ago!), staring out into space. You feel itchy all over and your eyes refuse to focus. Your brain is working as well as a car engine without fuel. You realise that if someone asked you what 2+2 equals to you wouldn't know.
You tried (for the millionth time) to get a list of things your 'female friend' is shopping for. But every time you get a different list. Then you realise there is no list. The cat is just playing with the mouse (you are the mouse here!).
You watch as she picks up one item, looks at it, rotates it, thinks about it then puts it back on the shelf. This is like the old Chinese water torture for you. Each time she does this your blood pressure increases thinking that yes she will buy something and that will be one item less on the 'imaginary list of things to be purchased'.
Then comes the time when she asks your opinion on some thing. That is the time you feel like the prime suspect in a double murder case. You know anything you say can and WILL be used against you in all future fights. You know there are no right answers. You are sure that girls ask for your opinion just to check that yes you are still alive and have not turned into a walking vegetable.
Then comes the time for relase. When she says the magic words 'Lets go home I am tired'. You are just too happy to even think about the irony of the statement (since you have been carrying all the bags!).
Obviously as you near the exit your expectations of a swift release are dashed each time she stops to explore a store. But you are also bit happy as long as the overall movement is towards the exit.
You reach home. She is happy. She quickly does a survey of what she bought. If she bought something for you then you get to go and try it then and there (even if you don't want to!).
She is happy because she went 'shopping'. You are happy because the torture is over. Both of you are happy because.....
obviously you know why the both of you are happy....
still not sure....
ok let me spell it out for you... both of you are happy because YOU LOVE EACH OTHER and managed to spend the WHOLE DAY together (who cares if it was constructive or not).
P.S.: This is a PURELY FICTIONAL ACCOUNT created out of years of experience backed by observations.
