Desperation at the Edge of Forever

As the new day is emerging from its sleeping place, I feel that I too am standing at the edge of something new and strange.

Things influence us as we go along our daily lives which we are not even aware of. The influence can be so subtle that it is only over time that we become aware of a fundamental change within ourselves. We wake when we are standing at the edge of forever.

That is when desperation strikes.

Ahead lies something that is unfamiliar. Behind is something quite familiar. The familiarity is seductive. It calls out, it wants you back. You also want to play it safe. Why step off the edge into unknown territory? Why not go back? Why not embrace what is familiar?

Or better yet, why not stay at the edge. That ways the motivation to move forward and the urge to go back is balanced.

You know if you move ahead into the unknown, many things will change. There will be endings and new beginnings.

This year (2007) has been one of the best years of my life. I needed this one year more than anything. This year will be burned in my memory forever.

Someone told me in January, that this year is going to be a tough year but a very good year for you. I never really understood what that person meant at that time. But now I know and I understand what was meant.

I did many things this year about which I could have only dreamt or thought about before. I did them with the greatest of ease when the time came to do them. I did them without thinking.

I experienced many things this year. Things that tested my sanity, things that made me smile and things that made me cry.

This year I fought the feeling of helplessness.

This year I made many new friends and developed deeper friendships with existing friends.

This year my thoughts were poisioned, by me. This year they were cleaned by friends. Whenever my heart would blacken with the thoughts of pain, anger, hate and grief there would be light. Therefore I thank all the people who stood by me, both here in Bristol and back in India. It made being laid up in bed for three months good fun! :D

You know who you people are!

In the end (or before the new beginning?) I would like to thank God for everything.

:)

The Progression of a Winters Day in December!

As I got up today morning, the weather clock was happily flashing a snow warning! I felt really happy seeing it! Outside the temperature was -1 degrees (C). So I quickly took out my S2-IS camera in anticipation of snow.

But sadly the snow never came. So instead I took photographs to show how the day progressed.

Here they are:

The First Shot taken at 1pm, 20th December 2007.

The Second Shot taken at 4pm, 20th December 2007.


The Final Shot taken at 4:40pm, 20th December 2007.

Thoughts on a winter's evening!

When you are all alone on a bus, coming home after a long day working and shopping, your thoughts can wander around.
Sometimes the wandering thoughts can lead you on to a deep insight about something. This is what happened to me earlier today.

The trigger was the fresh-bread shelf at Tesco Express. All the breads were looking quite tempting. But I didn't buy any since I already had some bread at home. While sitting on the bus I remembered a line from a very interesting book. The heroine says:

"We came to know the cost of a loaf of bread"

As this line popped into my head I said to myself:

"Mr. Machwe you need a girl like that, you need a girl who knows the price of a loaf of bread". "You have this habit of flying, you need a girl to ground you for a bit now and then".

This thought led to my thinking what a girl would say if I told her this! I realised that a girl would probably think I am recruiting her for a job or something.

That is when it hit me. The deepest insight of them all.

I realised managing me (a girl who is with me would have to do that!) is a full time job! It can be very easy or very difficult depending on the kind of person that you are.

That is why I can either tune with people very quickly or never tune with them at all.

:)