Shaadi.com

The meds must be making me crazy.
I actually spent 2 hours going through profiles (of girls) at Shaadi.com (matrimonial site) having a good laugh at my own foolishness. I was looking at girls from Bristol. But the REALLY SCARY bit was when I nearly put up my own profile on Shaadi.com. I thought the registration form was for.. well.. registration purposes only. But when I found myself filling a textbox labeled as 'About yourself' I realized what I was actually doing. I was creating a profile on Shaadi.com. For a second I thought about going ahead and putting my profile on the site. Just for fun even!

But then I got scared. What if I actually GOT a response. That nearly made me pee in my pajamas.

Most people say that they 'invite trouble on themselves'.
I have this habit of first inviting trouble and then following up the invitation with a phone call to ensure that indeed trouble is on its way.

But my trawl through the site wasn't all useless. Maybe picked up some interesting nuggets. ;)
Luck beats data-mining any day.

Me and Vibhore at NRI day. 

Hello / Goodbye

I am back in Bristol after an eventful 50 odd days in India.
Lots of new things happened. I explored some long forgotten rooms of my heart. Rebuilt some old connections and strengthened the new ones.

The time of switch-over from New Delhi to Bristol is always a tough one for me. I always end up feeling really sad and depressed because I know the next time I go home another year would have passed.
Maybe this year I will go back home for good? After all this is the final year of my Ph.D.
I end up thinking always that I am a very fragile person. A smallest vibration can shake me to pieces.
A friend of mine talked about motivation.
What is that one thing which gets you out of your bed on a day you wake up wishing you were dead?
What motivates you then?

I think its a combination of two things. Firstly the thoughts and blessings of the people who truly love you. Secondly the more primitive instinct to survive against all odds.
While blessings set the stage for you, its up to the primitive instincts to make you want to grab that sword and wade into the battlefield that is Life.

Blessings help us when we are wounded on the battlefield of Life. It helps us when we have been seperated from our mates. When we are surrounded. It helps us when we die on this battlefield since on a battlefield Death is never far.
Death here means failure.
When we are sent back to the healing room to be revived.

To re-enter the melee.
To fight on.