A Quote

I tired so hard to become what I ought to be, that I forgot what I am.

- Unknown

A Quote which I discovered written on a picture in my house.

Ever since we are born most of us try hard to become what other people expect of us. In the beginning we are influenced by our parents and family, then our friends and finally our spouse/love interests. Everyone around us has an image of what we should be like and often these images blur out the image that we have of ourselves. We end up loosing our own thoughts on what we ought to be.

Those who don't, the so called 'different thinkers' are sadly very few in number. Very few people actually get to do what they want to do in life. Life is quite practical and one has to live by its rules if one expects to 'settle down'.

So it is the old fight between exploration (stick out) vs exploitation (blend in) in the evolutionary sense.

This is dedicated to a friend who told me not to think; just write! :)

A Tip for a Successful Marriage!

Continuing with the posts on marriage.... I wish to share my knowledge on deciding when you are ready for marriage and who to get married with. I have seen my share of failed and failing marriages. While each failed/failing marriage has its share of unique environmental issues which are beyond the control of either the husband or the wife, there are certain things that are common.

I can understand the doubts and fears that creep into ones mind when one is thinking of getting married. Everyone is bit scared and apprehensive about taking one of the biggest steps in life. That is when, truly, you start living for someone else. That is when you have to start thinking in plural. This is where the issues start to creep in which end up becoming full blown problems after marriage.

There is a very simple way of figuring out whether you are ready for marriage or not...

Just think about a normal day for yourself. Think about all the things that you do to relax. Think of all the activities that are important to you.

THINK!

Then imagine doing them with someone around. Imagine NOT doing them because someone is around. Imagine delaying them because someone is around. Now imagine that someone is your spouse.

The question you are trying to answer is whether you can include someone in your life and handle a reduction of free 'personal time' and 'personal space'? Whether things in your life can accomodate a second person?

Remember: once you are married, you will never be alone.

To decide whether you are marrying the right person think about how well your single lives (which includes interests, habits and hobbies) intersect and overlap.

Greater the overlap more stable will be your bond and less isolated are you likely to feel.

Of course other aspects such as nature, upbringing and background of the people in question cannot be ignored since they are a major source of issues but if one realises, most of the above mentioned aspects are reflected in as well as shape a person's interests, daily routine, style of living, habits etc.

In fact many times background, upbringing etc. doesn't match but the interests, habits etc. match resulting in happily married life.