I am not drunk (for once!) and I am not depressed.
Sometimes you just need to think some things through. Even if it does seem counter-productive to think them.
I am in a catch 22 situation.
I haven't spoken with the girl I love for a long time now. She is busy. I am free. Yet I don't see myself making that extra effort to reach out and touch her. Why do it I ask myself. Why bother her specially since she doesnt believe in outward show of emotions? Keep the pain inside you my heart thinks. It is just a matter of time before she would be well and truly beyond my reach. I don't mean the geographical seperation. I mean a seperation of emotions. A seperation lasting a life time. A seperation of the mind, body and soul.
But maybe I don't get a response because I am not responding myself. Too confusing.
Why does love have to be like a detective novel where all actions (implicit and explicit) have to read and re-read to find out their correct meaning. Clues pieced together bit by bit.
Where if you assume wrongly you loose more than just your self-respect. Where does the scrambling of signals take place and cause confusion to prevent two humans from just admitting that they love each other.
The tree-lined avenue
Begins to fade from view
Drowning past regrets
In tea and cigarettes
But I can’t seem to forget
When you came along
The world I love
The tears I drop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
Ever wonder if it's all for you
The world I love
The trains I hop
To be part of
The wave can't stop
2 comments:
Hi! I have been reading your posts for a while ever since I came to know about your blog through Meera’s. I must say you have quite a variety. Did you compose the poem… its very sweet and beautiful too. Love, well! Something that we all have tried to engage with at different points of time to seek an understanding. Ok, let me see what I can put in. If we begin from where you left, where you talk about self-respect, I guess it gives a good starting point. While self-respect is a virtue, often it turns into stubborn ego, quite unsuspectingly. And while self-respect is an essential in love as it predisposes one to giving his/her best to this tremendous life force (of LOVE), ego is something that obstructs this exchange of energy.
It is a terribly big challenge to get over one’s ego. If you respond to love from your heart, that would be the truest response I think, but most of us do not listen to our hearts as the ego lives in the brains. But if you listen to your heart, you will never have regrets that you did not do enough. You have no control over other people’s responses, but you have full control over yours – depends how steer the control buttons. Often times many of us do not seem to believe in a lot of things outwardly, but anything nice, aesthetic, sincere… never ever fails to touch the soul. It is just a matter of time when the other person is able to acknowledge the voices of their own souls. Therein lies your triumph. In worldly language (which I don't use very often) the thing called "patience" pays big time in love!
Ha ha love is not like a detective novel, it is we people who love to play detectives!! Imagine if you were to turn around and say “love is the only thing that I am optimistic about!!” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you, your blog is nice.
Well unfortunately I did not write those poems.. they are lyrics from a song.
The first one is from 'Life in Mono' by Mono (from OST of Great Expectations)
Second one is 'Can't Stop' by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
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