Another sad song...

I dont know why I keep adding to this blog. Its insane.

The Long and Winding Road
by The Beatles
The long and winding road that leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before it always leads me here
Leads me to your door

The wild and windy night that the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears crying for the day
Why leave me standing here, let me know the way
Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried
Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried
And still they lead me back to the long and winding road
You left me standing here a long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here, lead me to you door

But still they lead me back to the long and winding road
You left me standing here a long, long time ago
Don't keep me waiting here (Don't keep me wait), lead me to you door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Police with dogs! Scary ;) 

Party time 2 

Party time 

Me and Stupid?

angel eyes says:
oh trust me
angel eyes says:
i knew it was u
angel eyes says:
only u could be that stupid

I always wanted to stand out in a crowd! And now it has been proved that I do stand out in a crowd! :D
I am the happiest man on Earth today!
Thanks angel eyes!

Love and Loneliness

Love is:
You are that flower which spreads its scent,
in the streets of my heart.
Whether its a short trip or a long journey,
lonely road or a bustling fair,
when I remember you,
I feel lonely in a crowd.
The farther away I get from you,
the closer you come to me.

The scene I imagine is travelling through north India by car. Watching all those small villages and towns roll by as the sun sets slowly. In my heart the loneliness will no longer be there if I have that someone special, their face in my heart. And I know that at the end of my travels.. at the end of the long and lonely road... someone will be there to welcome me with open arms and a open heart.

Till then, I will keep wandering, searching on those empty highways.. for someone.

This reminds me of the times when as a kid and then as an adult, I used to travel around north India, heading to a hill station or a town in a car. Sitting on the front passenger seat. I was never fond of the back seat. Always finding it a bit of a bore. The front seat was where the action was.

Passing all those small small roads leading off from the main highway. Where would they end up? In a village or do they meet with more roads leading off into the horizon. Then I would pass these small villages and towns. Bustling with people, sometimes near dusk the tiny lights of the houses and large lights of the eating places and shops would turn on. So many lives.. so many existances. Do they ever look at the cars and try and imagine where the people travelling in them are coming from or going to?
Seeing so many destinies passing them by must be indeed a moving experience for anyone.
Who knows who ends up where. Who takes what path.
Maybe someone is from hot and humid Mumbai, going to see the Himalayas from Manali, a family from Delhi in that car taking the kids out for the annual summer holiday to Shimla or Mussourie. Those four gentlemen in the car? Maybe they are going to Haridwar to immerse the ashes of a loved one into the holy river Ganga.
All very strange and mysterious. Isnt it?

CARA Laughs

CARA: Construction And Repair Agent
My first creation, my first acronym going to the International Conference on Computing in Civil Engineering, Cancun, Mexico.
Lets hope the paper gets accepted. Then CARA will really laugh!
:)

Does God play dice?

Einstien, in 1973, said: God does not play dice.
He meant God does not do things 'randomly' and thus the future can be predicted from the past and the present. He said this against the quantum theory.
In reply Stephen W. Hawking, in 1975, said: God not only plays dice. He also sometiems throws the dice where they cannot be seen.

I think God does play dice but the odds are heavily tipped in Gods favour. So 9 out of 10 times God wins. Future is predicatable, but within finite non-zero error limits.

Me, sick. 

Past meets Future

A new friend is introducing a kind of life I have never seen. Being settled outside the house. Belonging to some place. Belonging without any conditions.
Why do I remember things I have forgotten.
I always imgine myself wandering all over the world with the image of that one special person in my heart. I know the day I have that person I will be able to do anything and go anywhere by just keeping that image in my mind.
Till today my heart has been a one way road. Things keep going in but very few things are allowed out. This will change one day. Soon I hope.
When will I get that image to make me complete? When I will stride forth into the world.
Look up to the sky and see not the cold and empty stars but a face, an image.

Mountains and Poetry

Me in Mussourie (all the girls my email is in the profile!)
While uploading this image a friend was reading poetry to me.
And for a second it felt I was transported back to the mountains which you can see in the picture above.
;)
I wish travel were that easy and cheap! Want to travel just listen to poetry.

About Love..

For something so fundamentally positive.. love does have its dark side. It is responsible for making more than one set of friends mortal enemies. Love is responsible for the dissappearance of countless civilizations into the sands of time.
Maybe I am drunk but suddenly love seems a very dangerous thing for me!

Snow over Central Europe

My return trip from New Delhi to London:
-- Night in Mumbai: Hotel Intercontinental, Sahar
a strange strange transition from fucked up to freaked out.. all thanks to AIR INDIAjust one flight left for the transition to be completed.. back to bristol.this is one trip i am going to remember for a long time.I have calculated the exact duration of my time left here: 782 days and counting down.I think i will be much more happier in india..but this year i need to make another transition... from internal home friendship to external friendships.internal friendships are getting screwed up.. will write more later if able coz food is here...
after a full stomach i am back..as i was saying as long as i have friends.. one woman among them and others male.people say it true a woman can wipe away a thousand tears without getting her hands wet.she helped me sleep the night i knew i would get no sleep...

-- Return to Bristol
On the flight as I looked down on the land below from 40,000 feet up I was remembering the first flight out to UK with my batch mates. It was a Kuwait Airways flight out from Kuwait City to London. I was sitting behind Mantosh and we both had window seats. As our plane flew over Central Europe we saw flat fields sprinkled with snow looking like sugar icing on a cake. Then the great nightmare adventure began which is still going. The people have changed the situation has changed. But I am determined to have fun.
Now I am determined not to give in to this.. to be strong.

Me, Friends and Beer!

Me in India having fun with my friends and a glass of beer! :)
Pic taken on 26th December 2004 at Taj Palace Hotel, New Delhi, India

Last Hours of Sanity

Time to head back home to UK.
To leave this land and head back over the water into that cold waste.
I have felt like I have been exiled from India. But once I am back in UK it feels good. I am fortunate enough to get this chance.
As they say more things change more they remain the same. Maybe change is like a periodic function which comes back to the same value.
No Regrets...

Incomplete

Incomplete
by Azahar Machwe (written on 15th Nov. 2002)

I am incomplete
Like a mirror without a frame
A sword without edge
Looking for a soul, to have a connection
Finding nothing but rejection

I am so incomplete
Without something to keep me
Looking for the touch, the feel
to kiss the one for me
Only thing I feel is empty and weak.

I am incomplete without you
Looking for the light, someone to guide
Open faces everywhere
Closed hearts all of them hide
Finding the key, the salvation for me.

Robert Frost Poem 2

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

-by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost Poem 1

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening
- by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost

http://www.ketzle.com/frost/

Check it out... Robert Frost knew what he was talking about.

Melissa the Goth Princess

She is a strong force in my life... sort of like the piston in the engine.
Whenever I am down she reminds me that I am her special Loser. :) It cheers me up.
Here is one to you Mel!
:)