Flaming Lioness

Some guys would think that it is pretty cool to be able to drive girls crazy about them.

I seem to have the same effect on certain people... but its not quite the 'good way' crazy..

Arti says:
.........its awesome...u know it and u absolutely nothing abt my anger
Arti says:
other than increasing it

;)

A positive side of things..

Recently friends and people have been telling me that I have changed... that the nature of my blog has changed. From a negative sad one it has transfromed into something a bit more positive.
As the dawn breaks outside (4AM) and the desk fan toils away in the back ground to provide me with some air I sit and wonder as I sip my coffee... how much I have changed and how far still I have to travel on this path of change.

The main problems which used to plague me before were mostly of my making.
One realises that when you let go of things it makes life much much easier than sitting and worrying about them.

Berkely Castle: lovely tree..  

Berkely Castle: courtyard. 

Berkely Castle 

Chemical sunrise... 

Flaming June..

Flaming June: thats the title of a techno song. But now that the summer is here my enthusiasm graph is at an all time low. These days I have been staying awake all night and then sleeping at stranger and stranger hours!
From sleeping at 6am (Tuesday) I am down to sleeping at 1pm (Saturday). Hopefully today (Sunday) I will not sleep at all till the night and thus my sleep cycle will be corrected (hopefully).
My thoughts have become abstract and sometimes I think I am loosing my mind (what a happy thought!).
The true dog days are here! :D

All through this I managed to keep doing some work. So all is not lost.
The summer is always a difficult time for me. Makes fall/winter even more tempting.
:)

Summer months are the months I feel as if my brain has been disconnected from my body and it is now being controlled by a more basic intelligence.

I become a caveman in the summer.

Thornbury Nuclear Powerplant. 

Chopper at the Thornbury Castle... do I look like its owner ;) 

What was I thinking???  

Me at Berkely Castle 

A small English town on a summer sunday. 

A Strange dream..

Couple of days ago had a very strange dream.

I was back in India and some Aunty was taking keen interest in me taking me around shopping and stuff. This Aunty was introduced to me by my Mom. And I am going going here and there with her but at the same time I cant quite figure out why she is taking so much interest in me.
Then suddenly it dawns on me that I am being prepared to meet a girl. And my Mom wants this Aunty to smarten me up.
Suddenly I am very nervous because I wonder what it would be like to meet the girl and what they would think of me.
I remember sitting in a large hall kind of place and thinking about this...
Everything was grey.
:)

Sacrfice

When people appear happy after loosing or sacrificing something (or someone) they were close to and say stuff like '..still I am happy that they found someone...' it really feels weird.
I believe we are not Gods or Saints who would truly feel happy sacrificing something they truly were attached to. Or maybe they just wouldnt form those kinds of attachments?

Worth thinking about isnt it.
:)

Strange Sunday..

Ladies n Gents.. welcome to my life..
I got up at 4 AM on a Sunday morning in May. Outside its exceedingly bright and it promises to be a corker of a day... burning sunshine all the way!
Read a bit about Tarot and Astrology from 4 to around 5:30 AM.
Then my housemate put on some softcore ghazals (i.e. Jagjit Singh), setting the tone for the day. :D
Then we went down to the kitchen and cooked something and then watched an old hindi movie (from 6:30 AM to 7:00 AM).
And now Im drinking Benedictine (liquor) at 7:30 AM! :D
Im turning into a real alcoholic I tell you! :D

Long Island Iced Tea at Bar Med. 

An Important Lesson...

For those people dealing with best friends in love...

You just cant be honest with people who are in love

Its because when they are in love the world looks perfect.
They dont want to know anything bad in it. Thus sometimes to show them the bad things in their perfect little world of love you need to take the round about route.

:D

Wells Cathedral, Wells  

The Brititsh countryside on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Enroute to Wells. 

Restless..

Another 4am another sleepless night.
Sometimes it feels as if I am at the edge of sanity and a gemtle nudge is all that is needed to send me out into the black lands of insanity. Even sleep seems to have deserted me.
The right way is wholly lost.
Yet this madness will pass too and one day maybe I will feel what it means to be at peace.