Words of Gogol!

All this has for me an indescribable charm,

perhaps because I no longer see it,

and because anything from which we are separated is pleasing to us.



-From Old-fashioned Farmers by Nikolai Gogol.

Views on a New Year

Advancing clouds at night.

Spotlight on a car - Consumerism at its peak!

The Photographer - looking at the World through a dead eye.

Beauty

The play of light and shadows - views from a bus.

Love bites: The Pre-marital Mangalsutra

The other day the topic of love bites on the neck came up.

A friend happened to remark that love bites are the pre-marital mangalsutra!

Firstly, I am sure many people will want to know what is a love bite?
Love bite is defined as:
A bite or bruise raised on the body of a sexual partner during love making. Also known as a hicky when visable on the neck

Why did my friend call it a pre-marital mangalsutra?
Because once made around the neck, it stays visible for a long time. It represents a certain kind of closeness between two people and almost marks ownership over each other!
Keeping the above in mind and also the fact that most couples wouldn't hesitate giving love bites before marriage (as opposed to full blown sex) my friend called them the 'pre-marital mangalsutra'.


By the way, please don't ask me who said this because I did not write this post to make fun of him/her, just to share a funny definition of a love bite!

:)

New Year Thinking!

The other day I was chatting with a friend about plans for New Year's eve.
He said that it is just another year and nothing but a change in number, why bother?

I disagree with him.

New Year is a chance to wipe clean the old things and start new. In fact the day you start thinking a bit different, doing something new or changing your life even one percent, that is the start of a New Year!

The key here is that you don't need a BIG change in life, just a small change.

Maybe next time you meet someone interesting, you can ask them for their number!
Next time you promise to keep in touch with someone, DO keep that promise and keep in touch!
Next time tell your best-buddies how much they mean to you!

Many times a small change in what you do or your response can lead to a major change in how you feel and think!

HAVE A GREAT 2008!

REMEMBER!

WHETHER 2008 IS JUST ANOTHER YEAR

OR

A YEAR YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER

IS IN YOUR HANDS!

:)

Desperation at the Edge of Forever

As the new day is emerging from its sleeping place, I feel that I too am standing at the edge of something new and strange.

Things influence us as we go along our daily lives which we are not even aware of. The influence can be so subtle that it is only over time that we become aware of a fundamental change within ourselves. We wake when we are standing at the edge of forever.

That is when desperation strikes.

Ahead lies something that is unfamiliar. Behind is something quite familiar. The familiarity is seductive. It calls out, it wants you back. You also want to play it safe. Why step off the edge into unknown territory? Why not go back? Why not embrace what is familiar?

Or better yet, why not stay at the edge. That ways the motivation to move forward and the urge to go back is balanced.

You know if you move ahead into the unknown, many things will change. There will be endings and new beginnings.

This year (2007) has been one of the best years of my life. I needed this one year more than anything. This year will be burned in my memory forever.

Someone told me in January, that this year is going to be a tough year but a very good year for you. I never really understood what that person meant at that time. But now I know and I understand what was meant.

I did many things this year about which I could have only dreamt or thought about before. I did them with the greatest of ease when the time came to do them. I did them without thinking.

I experienced many things this year. Things that tested my sanity, things that made me smile and things that made me cry.

This year I fought the feeling of helplessness.

This year I made many new friends and developed deeper friendships with existing friends.

This year my thoughts were poisioned, by me. This year they were cleaned by friends. Whenever my heart would blacken with the thoughts of pain, anger, hate and grief there would be light. Therefore I thank all the people who stood by me, both here in Bristol and back in India. It made being laid up in bed for three months good fun! :D

You know who you people are!

In the end (or before the new beginning?) I would like to thank God for everything.

:)

The Progression of a Winters Day in December!

As I got up today morning, the weather clock was happily flashing a snow warning! I felt really happy seeing it! Outside the temperature was -1 degrees (C). So I quickly took out my S2-IS camera in anticipation of snow.

But sadly the snow never came. So instead I took photographs to show how the day progressed.

Here they are:

The First Shot taken at 1pm, 20th December 2007.

The Second Shot taken at 4pm, 20th December 2007.


The Final Shot taken at 4:40pm, 20th December 2007.

Thoughts on a winter's evening!

When you are all alone on a bus, coming home after a long day working and shopping, your thoughts can wander around.
Sometimes the wandering thoughts can lead you on to a deep insight about something. This is what happened to me earlier today.

The trigger was the fresh-bread shelf at Tesco Express. All the breads were looking quite tempting. But I didn't buy any since I already had some bread at home. While sitting on the bus I remembered a line from a very interesting book. The heroine says:

"We came to know the cost of a loaf of bread"

As this line popped into my head I said to myself:

"Mr. Machwe you need a girl like that, you need a girl who knows the price of a loaf of bread". "You have this habit of flying, you need a girl to ground you for a bit now and then".

This thought led to my thinking what a girl would say if I told her this! I realised that a girl would probably think I am recruiting her for a job or something.

That is when it hit me. The deepest insight of them all.

I realised managing me (a girl who is with me would have to do that!) is a full time job! It can be very easy or very difficult depending on the kind of person that you are.

That is why I can either tune with people very quickly or never tune with them at all.

:)

Back to UK, with a twist!

I just came back from India. The return journey was quite amazing. I was on a wheelchair for starters. Then the flight was delayed by 2 hours and finally I watched 3 movies on the flight! :)

IGI is being given a major facelift. The new bits that I saw did impress me, so I can't wait for the new airport to roll out! One amazing thing, I tried to give the guy who was handling my wheelchair a tip but he refused to take it. He said he could only take the tip in the toilets because there he wouldn't be seen by anyone! Usually people back home tend to get tip hungry but here it was the opposite. Someone had put the fear of god in them, which was quite refreshing to see! I always believe that one should never ask for a tip. If you ask for a tip then it is like begging.



The other thing that was amazing was I saw on the display boards that one of the flights was headed (of all the places in the world!) to Kabul, Afghanistan! The Kam Air flight was parked right next to our plane and I managed to get a good picture of it from my mobile. Take a look at the flight to Kabul!






Please notice the small hole in the skin of the aircraft near the tail, just to the left of the door! The plane actually departed as my aircraft was waiting for clearence. I just hope it arrived in one piece!

When I landed in London it was freezing outside. We were already 2 hours late and by the time I got out of the terminal it was 8.30pm. Being on a wheelchair gave a whole new twitst to the whole situation.

The yellow lights of Bristol were visible in the sky just a few hours later as my taxi drew closer to my home. Reaching home was an amazing experience. My friend was there to welcome me and again for the first time I just said 'hello' to him and crawled into bed (it was 11.30pm!) without airing my room or even changing the 2 month old bedsheets.

Dead bodies don't need fresh winding sheets when they return to the grave.

:)

Comments Please!

?One of the things, as a blogger, which brings a smile to my face, is a comment on a post!

Every blogger dreams of getting hundreds of comments on a post. Especially if the topic of the post is a bit controvercial or a matter of popular discussion. To see a debate starting up and people going at each other, bringing out the facts and giving their own views.
It really enhances a good post and puts the 'cherry on the icing'.

Every blogger also gets irritated with 'bot' placed comments which end up advertising some crap or point to some random link.
Then there are those 'friendly' comments which don't really mean anything yet encourage you to keep writing.
One of the best kind of comments are those which talk about the post and the impact it had on the person writing the comment. A personal story about the post so as to say. That really encourages you to keep writing!

Then you have the crazy comment posters who post as anonymous. They give their views and ask strange questions all the while not having the courage to even reveal their name! How funny is that? :)

2BHK+Bar

I have a three bedroom house with a hall and a kitchen. This would be represented as 3BHK in any real-estate advertisement or if someone were to ask me about my house.



While talking to a fellow alcoholic a thought came to my mind. Why not convert one room into a bar. That ways I can represent my house as: 2BHK + Bar!



With the night life in Delhi improving as it has been for the last few years one regularly comes across innovative and creative bar designs. There is something fascinating about the play of light on the different shapes and colours of the bottles.



Imagine lying on your bed in the darkness, with a huge bar in front of you. The interplay of light and colours! How soothing and relaxing!

The light blue of Bombay Sapphire gin, the rich earthy tones of whiskey (especially Balvenie and Black Label!). The clear glory of Vodka and the golden hues of white wine! The dark bottles of red wine and the rose hues of Rose. Then we have the wonderful creamy glint of Bailey's Irish Cream and the orange light of Cointreau!



I haven't even begun to talk about the innovative shapes and bottle styles!

:)

A Quote for a Special Person!

Sometimes the mirror of dreams gets covered with the fog of reality.
Therefore it is very important, from time to time, to wipe away the fog to
remain focussed on your dreams!

This quote is truly amazing. I don't know who said this but it is applicable to anyone caught in the rat-race. Life has become so busy and stressful that we hardly get time to relax and remember our dreams. Very few people realise that dreams start crumbling away if we don't remember and retain them.
Then one day when you clear away the fog, you find the mirror has cracked. Your dreams have crumbled into dust. That is when one gets dis-illusioned and depressed.
It is indeed a bad experience to see your dreams lying dead.

So people remember to keep your dreams alive by keeping them fresh and clear in your mind! Focus on them, take care of them like you would a child or a plant. They will mature and give you so much satisfaction when you realise them!

:)

Om Shanti Om: And the Search for a Story Continues!

When two people, who don't know each other, give you the same advice about a movie, you would be stupid not to listen and take that piece of advice.

When it came to Om Shanti Om, also known as OSO, three people gave me the same advice: "Go with your brain switched off"

Well I did switch off my brain and by GOD did I have a tough time getting it restarted after the movie! I think my brain had a near death experience of its own while I was watching OSO.

Let me first give out the positives:

1) Deepika Padukone: She has a very beautiful face. But I realised one can get bored of it real quick, because in the movie, every second scene has her face in close zoom or you see her dressed up in beautiful sarees and evening dresses. After a bit her face looses its charm.

2) SRK and his abs: One has to admire SRK for the effort he has put into rebuilding his body for this movie especially at his age!

3) The sets and the production quality: While some of the sets were lifted directly from West End stageshows and Broadway musicals the production quality and the feel of the movie is quite professional.

4) Om Shanti Om song: A great touch to bring in all the actors for a romp on the dance floor.

I won't concentrate a lot on the negatives because there are many. Obviously the story is weak, in fact one can say there is no story. It looks like a patchy mix of 3 or 4 different stories; starting with a romantic story, then in between action, then suspense and ending with horror. When are we going to get a movie which combines slick production with a good story?

Then we have the overacting in certain parts of the movie. Finally of course I couldn't help but note the background theme stolen from Constantine in the scene where Arjun Rampal arrives at the burntout studio for the muhurat and SRK exits the car.

All in all, the advice given to me still rings true: "Go with you brain switched off"

But I would like to add a line to that: "Only if you have nothing better to do"

:)

Delhi Gymkhana: The Elite Club of the Indian Raj

The Delhi Gymkhana was known as the Imperial Delhi Gymkhana Club before independence. It was setup for the British officers and officials who were, at that time, ruling over India. After independence the 'Imperial' tag was dropped from the name and 'Indians' took over the running of the club.

I used to enjoy going to the Gymkhana, as it is popularly known, till now. Having a medical disability has given me new insight on things. I realised today how the people there still cling on to the memories of the British Raj and how it has become more of a status symbol for people with the major advantage being the availability of cheap drinks.

Clinging on to old world habits, like a hand bell on each table to attract the waiter's attention, sounds like something right from the days of the Raj.

With the system of 'green cards' where by dependents get access to all the facilities, seems to encourage the idea that you can earn respect just because you are someones son or daughter. With respect to this I really like India Habitat Centre where dependents can only use a limited set of facilities and cannot use any of the Member's Only dining areas on their own. Every member therefore has to prove their worth.

Another thing which I could never understand is why they don't allow the use of cellphones in the bar? I mean it is so funny! People there, as it is, talk SO loudly that you would think you have entered a fish market. Yet you cannot talk on your cellphone. Or maybe they don't trust their members to talk in a normal or low voice when using a cell, which is weird for an elite club! But then again, with all the shouting going on inside, you would hardly be able to talk on the phone isn't it! :)

Abroad, yes I can understand why they have these rules. The people there actually speak in a normal voice instead of shouting at the top of their voice. So yes if someone speaks on a cell and even slightly raises their voice, it can disturb the people sitting nearby.

What we still haven't learned is that money and power does not make a good human being. Being the member or an offspring of a member of an elite club does not automatically make you an elite human being.

In fact if we were to think about it, most of the elite social clubs are nothing but a place where one can go and booze at a cheap price in relatively decent surroundings.

And I wonder what is so elite in that?

A Quote

I tired so hard to become what I ought to be, that I forgot what I am.

- Unknown

A Quote which I discovered written on a picture in my house.

Ever since we are born most of us try hard to become what other people expect of us. In the beginning we are influenced by our parents and family, then our friends and finally our spouse/love interests. Everyone around us has an image of what we should be like and often these images blur out the image that we have of ourselves. We end up loosing our own thoughts on what we ought to be.

Those who don't, the so called 'different thinkers' are sadly very few in number. Very few people actually get to do what they want to do in life. Life is quite practical and one has to live by its rules if one expects to 'settle down'.

So it is the old fight between exploration (stick out) vs exploitation (blend in) in the evolutionary sense.

This is dedicated to a friend who told me not to think; just write! :)

A Tip for a Successful Marriage!

Continuing with the posts on marriage.... I wish to share my knowledge on deciding when you are ready for marriage and who to get married with. I have seen my share of failed and failing marriages. While each failed/failing marriage has its share of unique environmental issues which are beyond the control of either the husband or the wife, there are certain things that are common.

I can understand the doubts and fears that creep into ones mind when one is thinking of getting married. Everyone is bit scared and apprehensive about taking one of the biggest steps in life. That is when, truly, you start living for someone else. That is when you have to start thinking in plural. This is where the issues start to creep in which end up becoming full blown problems after marriage.

There is a very simple way of figuring out whether you are ready for marriage or not...

Just think about a normal day for yourself. Think about all the things that you do to relax. Think of all the activities that are important to you.

THINK!

Then imagine doing them with someone around. Imagine NOT doing them because someone is around. Imagine delaying them because someone is around. Now imagine that someone is your spouse.

The question you are trying to answer is whether you can include someone in your life and handle a reduction of free 'personal time' and 'personal space'? Whether things in your life can accomodate a second person?

Remember: once you are married, you will never be alone.

To decide whether you are marrying the right person think about how well your single lives (which includes interests, habits and hobbies) intersect and overlap.

Greater the overlap more stable will be your bond and less isolated are you likely to feel.

Of course other aspects such as nature, upbringing and background of the people in question cannot be ignored since they are a major source of issues but if one realises, most of the above mentioned aspects are reflected in as well as shape a person's interests, daily routine, style of living, habits etc.

In fact many times background, upbringing etc. doesn't match but the interests, habits etc. match resulting in happily married life.

Images of Diwali 2007

Light through the bougainvillea.

Lights, camera... ACTION!

The 'hood.

Ahh what a happy home! :)

Pandit Ji after puja!

Rangoli @ home!

Pre-Marital Health Checkup

In today's world where marriages as it is breakup so easily one does not want any extra issues to crop up which can threaten the stability of the relation. Especially if those issues are related to health.

That is why it is important to get pre-marital health checkup done so that issues, if any, are clarified before the marriage takes place.

Keeping this in mind many hospitals in India provide a Pre-Marital Health Checkup.
One such hospital in Delhi is the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), one of the premier medical institutes of India.

Here is their site offering the full range of checkups (including Pre-Marital Health Checkup):
http://aimshospitals.net/health.htm

The Pre-Marital Health checkup consists of the following tests:

For the Bridegroom:
Price: Rs 700/-
Hb, CBC, ESR
Blood group
VDRL
HIV HBsAg
Urine Routine
Urine Microscopy
Semen Analysis
X-Ray Chest
Consultation by Surgeon

For the Bride:
Price: Rs. 1100/-
Hb,CBC,ESR
Blood group
VDRL
HIVHBs Ag
Urine Routine
Urine Microscopy
USG Full Abdomen
X-Ray Chest
Consultation by Gynecologist

The tests target specific issues (sometimes quite serious and life-threatening) which can cause problems after marriage. These include HIV screening, test for impotency, gynaecological tests and blood group compatibility.

Something to keep in mind before getting hitched?

Types of Hindu Marriages

To take cognizance of the start of the marriage season in India (Nov. - April.) here is a post about ancient Hindu marriages.

Manu in his Dharma-shastra describes eight types of Hindu marriages:
(Source:Law of Marriage and Divorce in India by B.P. Beri, 2nd Edition, Eastern Book Company)

Brahma
The highest form of marriage. In this form of marriage the father of a boy who has completed his studies (Brahmacharya) initiate the process to look for a suitable match for him. The girl's father voluntarily invites the grooms family to take his daughters hand in marriage. The girl is considered to be a 'gift' from her father to the boy and no dowry is given. This form of marriage elevates womanhood by making the groom search for his bride thus giving the bride more importance.

Daiva
This form of marriage occurs when the girl's family has waited a reasonable period of time for a boy to ask for their daughters hand. Then the girl's family goes out to find a suitable boy. Usually girl's were married to priests in this form of marriage. This marriage is considered to be lower than Brahma because it degrades womanhood by forcing the girl's family to look for a groom.

Arsha
In this form of marriage the girl is married to a sage (rishi) in exchange for two cows from the grooms side. This type of marriage occurs when the girl's family was not able to afford marriage at the right time. The exchange of two cows shows that the groom acknowledges that he is far from perfect. In this form of marriage nothing is given to the groom.

Prajapatya
In this form of marriage the groom, as a suitor, goes to the father of the girl and asks for her hand in marriage. This is a lower form of marriage than the Brahma form because in this case the father of the girl does not voluntarily invite the boy to marry his daughter.

Asura
This form of marriage involves the sale of the bride to the boy. In such a marriage the boy is not considered suitable for the girl. To compensate for this, the boy gives as much money and wealth as he can afford. This kind of marriage is looked upon because it is similar to selling the girl for a price.

Gandharba
This form of marriage is similar to the classical 'love marriage'. The bridge and groom marry without the knowledge of the parents. This is considered a low form of marriage because the parents have no part to play and is without their knowledge or permission.

Rakshasa
In this form of marriage the groom overcomes the girl's family and forcibly takes the girl away for marriage. This goes back to the days of open war where the winner came to control not only the lands of the losing side but also their wealth and women.

Paisacha
This is the lowest form of marriage possible. In this form the groom tricks the girl into marriage or the girl is married against her wishes.

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Living abroad: The 5 step process

After writing about the changes that have come about in the lives of a typical student going to UK for studies I started thinking about what I felt during those days. I wanted to form a step by step sequence of how my emotions changed as I left India and settled in UK.

Maybe it will help prepare future students and workers heading outside India for a significant amount of time for what they will feel.

Step 1: Denial

This is the first step. This occurs when the plans are being laid down for the course or job and the paperwork has started. Information is on a strictly need-to-know basis and everything is done with as little fuss as possible. One denies the fact that one would actually end up successfully getting all the paperwork done. This is done from the point of view of minimising the impact of failure (or at-least trying to minimise it!). This state of denial exists till the paperwork is completed and the visa is approved.

Step 2: Pride

This is the 'high' phase where you break the news to everyone around you (friends, family etc.) that you are going to be travelling abroad. Overnight you become the VVVVVIP in your friend and family circles. You also become a source of envy, inspiration and stupid examples given by other parents to their kids. People start treating you like some kind of a demi-God. All your close friends clear out their appointment books for the time ahead because 'you are leaving'. This phase pumps you up for the bad times ahead. You feel like a Warrior leading troops to war and all the people around you are cheering you on! This state lasts till one week before your departure date.

Step 3: Exile
One week before the day your leaving a feeling starts somewhere at the back of your mind which breaks through all the funfair around you. It makes you realise you are not a Warrior, more like an exiled prisoner whose family members and friends are actually mourning inside that you won't be here. But in the long it is not going to make any difference because friends and family will remain back home, their life will go on and things will continue. It is you who will be sitting in a strange country surrounded by strangers. Thus you start feeling like you are being exiled away from all that you know and love. You start asking yourself why the hell did you even think of going out and leaving your home. This is where you start falling. The last night at home is the toughest. You will feel every nerve in your body thrumming like a wire, absorbing home and thinking about where you will be in a few hours time. The bed feels like a funeral pyre as your emotions are burnt away into smoke. When you get up to get ready for airport you feel like a emotionless piece of flesh. You feel numb. This phase lasts till you are at the airport and are being seen off. That is when the Spike of Pain hits.

Step 4: Pain
The way a dead heart is revived using electric shock, the numbness of Exile is removed with the Spike of Pain. It is inserted in your heart as you realise that this is it. It maybe the last time you are meeting any of these people (Who knows where life takes you? Many people never come back!). The pain wakes you up. You get busy with the airport formalities and the Spike of Pain remains inside, throbbing, reminding you that you are human. Sometimes it gets overwhelming. You want to cry. But can't. Not in public! Wait for the flight. Yes when the passengers are sleeping, you can cry. The Spike of Pain drains itself by the time flight arrives and you complete the formalities at the arrivals. This is perhaps the lowest point of the entire journey.

Step 5: Rebirth
As you step out of the airport and the strange new sights, sounds, smells and sensations hit you, you feel reborn. You realise why you are here. You realise that this is a fresh new game with fresh new rules and fresh new players! Life is laid out in front of you like a buffet. And you are a man/woman hungry for experiences. The emotions and the pain are by now a distant memory. The brain starts working, planning, listing, sorting, remembering, thinking!

Then it strikes you.....you are here to do great things... your return will be celebrated.... you are indeed an exiled warrior.

Then you smile.

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Cellphones for 2008!

As another year draws to a close the gadget companies start revealing their product lines for the Christmas - New Year period. This year is no different with all the major players in the cellphone industry (Nokia, Samsung, Motorola etc.) have revealed the latest batch mobiles.

N81 Nokia is the new Nokia music phone fairly boring and standard design with the usual (YAWN!) features.
(check it out here: http://europe.nokia.com/A4494086)

Then there is the new LG Voyager phone with full QUERTY keyboard and a touch screen, this might just be my first LG phone!
(check out a review here: http://www.infosyncworld.com/news/n/8405.html)

The Samsung SCH-i760 is an upgraded version of the i730 with a massive screen running Windows Mobile.
(check it out here: http://www.samsung.com/us/consumer/detail/features.do?group=mobilephones&type=mobilephones&subtype=verizonwireless&model_cd=SCH-I760ZKAVZW)

The new Motorola Moto U9 is one of the most different looking phones out there! It has an external OLED touch screen (yes!) on a clamshell phone. It is basically a music phone with integrated 2mpx camera. I think this one is going to be another winner from Motorola!
(Here are more details and images: http://www.motorola.com/motoinfo/product/details.jsp?globalObjectId=212)