Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Airtel Re-activation Saga

The Appeal:


This is the story of how one man, with the help of a woman, managed to rescue his Airtel mobile connection from the menace of Permanent Disconnect.

The story starts when our hero lands in his hometown. Between struggling with hand luggage and observing the new airport terminal, he juggles with his cellphone, trying to get it working.
Soon the Immigration desks fell far behind and the phone was still refusing to connect to the Airtel network.
After the baggage collection was a distant memory, with the cell phone showing the dreaded words 'Limited Service', our hero resigned himself to a long journey home without his cellphone. Already the fear of a protracted struggle to get it restarted was growing within him as he sighted his home.
All the while our hero was struggling with the reason for the failure of the cell phone connection. He knew the cell connection had enough credit and it had been working 2-3 weeks ago when he had tested it.


Our hero was fully confused and disconnected. He could not tell anyone he was home! After several hours of struggling with the cell phone the hero decided to consult the Facebook Oracle to resolve the mystery of 'Limited Service'.
The Facebook Oracle advised our hero that he had not proven himself to Airtel. That is why his cell connection might have been 'temporarily disconnected'.


The very next day the hero with his fairy queen wife by his side strode into the local Airtel office to prove himself. He carried with him the papers of the land bearing the seals of Ruler.
The office was a hotbed of lethargy and every worker there was infused with the singular desire to do nothing. Using his Shield of Patience the hero managed to obtain the information from the staff about his connection. The Oracle was right. He would have to prove himself.
The office staff told him that he would have to prove himself not to them but to the Airtel high office in the deepest and darkest dungeons of the land, otherwise known as 'Nehru Place'.


The Application:
A new day dawned and the hero again set out with his fairy queen wife towards the Airtel high office. But minutes after entering 'Nehru Place' the hero and his fairy queen wife were lost. But the hero was lucky to find a Dungeon Troll, also known as a Delhi Police Constable, harassing the local population. The Dungeon Troll pointed the hero towards a different, smaller Airtel office instead of the one that the hero was seeking.


So the hero and his wife arrive at the small Airtel office. As the hero opens the door to the office waves of hot, stale air as if from a dragon's mouth assaults him. Luckily the hero is wearing his Aura of Armani. The fairy queen uses her magical hands to keep the door open to get rid of the hot air while the hero ventures forth into the office.


Within the office the hero finds two staff members flirting with each other. A sister seeking 'Activation' for her brother and father. A bored-to-death clerk busy counting bank notes. And between this quagmire of human emotions the hero manages to get his application accepted. While he is waiting the fairy queen, angered by the apparent suffering of the sister, unleashes a fireball of complaints at the zombie-like staff. They wither in front of her onslaught and quickly hide.


By then the hero receives the word that his proving has been successful but it will take 7 circles of the sun to get the connection restored.


Now what will our hero do. Will he wait 7 days or will he activate his magical powers?


The Wait:
But our hero is very resourceful and blessed with great friends. He approaches his friend who is a High Priest at Airtel. The High Priest promises to see what can be done to speed up the process. As the documents have already been submitted the hero sees no reason for the re-activation to take 7 days!


One day turns into two and then three days. On the third day he receives a happy message from Airtel saying 'All izzz well'. The hero swings into action and tries to make his first call to his fairy queen but the Airtel witch intercepts the call and informs the hero that he has 'insufficient balance to complete the call'.
Which is surprising because the office staff at Airtel had promised him that he would get all his balance from the previous re-charge sent to his connection after re-activation. Sure enough after using the magical spell of *123# the hero found that he had no credit!


But the hero knew that he better get a small recharge done so that at least he had a working cell connection.


Thus ends the Airtel Re-activation Saga, with the hero already preparing himself for the great Airtel Battle for Balance Transfer!