About Women...

The thing which really makes my blood boil is when women are treated badly. I just can't stand it.
Of course when anyone (man or woman) has done something bad then you have all the right to blame the person. But abuse of women (verbal/emotional/physical) is something that I cannot tolerate.

There is this excellent book by Amrit Wilson titled "Dreams, Questions, Struggles".
It examines the lives of South Asian women in Britain. Are their lives really that different from South Asian women. Does the 'evolved' western society offer them more freedom and space to breath.

One would assume that women would be less oppressed being in the 'free and developed world' but that does not seem to be the case. They end up having to fit into two patriarchal cultures. One at home and one outside.

The home culture prohibits them from having relations with BMW (Black/Muslim/White) boys and going out to nightclubs. The outside culture forces them to look sexy, to drink a lot, to smoke and of course to have sex (basically they have to be 'cool').

There are stereotypes everywhere and just because the country is considered to be 'western' or 'developed' doesn't mean people are actually free to be and do what they want.

I think there is this human tendency to be a part of the group. To give up the last ounce of individuality and go with the flock.
The important point is why do we give up this individuality.. is it forced out of us or do we give it up ourselves?
It also depends on which alternative provides us with an advantage, standing out or following the crowd?

In case of women often individuality is forced out of them due to various pressures and it is to their advantage to follow the crowd. Since if they don't then their mental, emotional and often physical well being is threatened.
As they say its better to bow your head rather than have it chopped off.

But this must change.
Some women are stupid (I happen to know many such specimens) as are some men (ditto).
That doesn't mean we as members of society (whether male OR female) have been given any right to influence the individualism of anyone.

While we cannot force people to be different (they themselves may not have courage) and in certain situations it is desirable for people to conform to norms (say for example following traditional marriage ceremonies and rituals) we must always guard against the use of force.
It is better to guide a mind to make its own decisions rather than to block it and channel it in one particular direction (whether of conforming or rebelling).

What started out with a post about oppressed women turned into what is wrong with our society.


When society starts to rot, sniper rifles come into the picture...

"What is not given, must be taken" - Self

Any women listening? :)

A Long Range Weapon for a Long Distance Relationship

A Long Range Weapon for a Long Distance Relationship


CheyTac Long Range Rifle System - Intervention sniper rifle (USA)

This is one of my favourite weapons. It is a sniper rifle with a range of more than 2000 meters (thus it can engage targets more than 2 kilometers away!).

Comes with a targetting computer which can be used for greater accuracy.

I just love the thought of being able to target something 2 kilometers away.

This rifle is fired lying down on the ground. It is to heavy to be fired like a conventional gun (it weighs 12 kgs!)


Caliber: .408 CheyTac
Operation: manually operated rotating bolt action
Barrel: 762 mm (30")
Weight: 12.3 kg
Length: 1400 mm (stock retracted), 1220 mm (stock collapsed)
Feed Mechanism: 5 rounds detachable box magazine



MORE INFO AND PICS HERE!

I know guns are bad and all that.. but this is a piece of amazing engineering and that is what I am appreciating along with the power it gives its user.

People I Know..

This post is about people I know but not too well or personally... these are people I know exist somewhere in the world (unless ghosts have started blogging) but don't know where or what they are actually like! In some cases I don't even know their names!

I know them through the blog world. They blog.. and they rock. Some of them write such nice stuff (sometimes about the most stupid of things though!) that it makes me feel stupid and illiterate (duh!).

Here is a small sample:

Meera
Blog: http://mywordsandlife.blogspot.com/
She is one amazing person. Normal on the surface complex inside. Kind of like a Mars bar. She should DEFINITELY write a book one day. I would publish it with my eyes closed. The best thing I like about her blog is how she turns everyday situations around and gives the readers a different perspective.


Ambrosia
Blog: http://ambrosia-am.blogspot.com/
What to say about Ambrosia. Just go and check out her blog. She is an amazing writer (I guess all good bloggers are!) but she doesnt write about day to day things. She writes about people, places, life and emotions. I don't know her at all but I would say that she is a highly intelligent person who is involved in lots of different activities (the variety of her posts and the information she gives out shows that!).
Would love to meet her one day!


A Very Cool Cat
Blog: http://averycoolcat.blogspot.com/
This one is very dangerous! I personally feel scared of her. The cat bit in her blog means (probably) a tigeress or lioness. She has a well defined set of morals and a very clear outlook in life but the main thing is she has the intelligence and the vocabulary to put her point across clearly. I like that in people. I always like reading her posts (since they always attract different opinions from people) and posting comments.


The amazing thing is... I don't even know if these people are really like that in their daily lives or what they show on the blog is their alter-ego. Kind of like Batman and Bruce Wayne (if you know your comics!).

Still its always great to read things posted by them. Keeps life interesting!

Personal Date Horror Story

Everyone has a personal 'Date Horror Story'
Here is mine (this will show you I have no ego at all!):

I was planning a trip to London with my family in the summer of 1999.
About two months before the trip I met these two girls (Rebecca and Penny) on chat.
They lived near London. I got chatting with them and they seemed quite nice. We quickly developed a good friendship.
So once I knew that I would be travelling to London I asked them if we could meet up.

They said yes (to my great surprise!).

Once I reached UK I called Penny up. She said she will come but her cousin sister would be with her (since Rebecca had exams she wouldnt be able to make it).
Now this being my first 'international date' (I was just 18) I got bit nervous. I thought if she is bringing someone along maybe so should I (in interest of security and company maybe?) and I blurted out.. 'can I bring my Mother with me then'.

It took a few second for me to realise what I had said.

The good part is we went out (without my mom) and had a great time!

Sadness?

What is depression. People say its something medical... it can be treated and that it can be cured!
I think people have grown soft. Which has led us to give names to things which we ourselves create. People get depressed for various reasons... sometimes they are big problems that we can't seem to get around but most times its the small things which pile up and start bothering us.

Only if we realise happiness is just a stones-throw away. If we can only dispense with our selfish attitudes/inflated egos/self-consciousness we can go and grab an everlasting source of peace and happiness. Remove the nutrients and the germs of depression will not be able to grow.

It is just about knowing who / what makes you happy. Most times its just a question of giving that special someone a call and talking to them about everything and nothing. If you find someone just hearing whom you feel relaxed/loved/warm/wanted/happy... don't let them go, like I am.

Some new stuff on my website:
http://www.pisceslab.com

Some old pictures...

YEAR: 2003
LOCATION: Trafalgar Square, London, UK

Me (standing), Amit Rawat, Mantosh Das and Ankur Gurha.


Me (sitting now!), Deepak Upadhyay, Mantosh Das and Ankur Gurha.

These photos were taken sometime towards the end of October 2003.
So much has changed since then. Some people have drifted away some have come closer and some are just as they were. Those were the happiest days of my life. Even though I was away from home, the days were good as were the people I spent them with.
The highlight of the year though was meeting Abha at a dinner in New Delhi.

YEAR: 2004
LOCATION: Battersea Park Arena, London, UK / Taj Hotel, New Delhi, India

Me standing up on the stage at the UK Computing Awards Function.


Me with my friends at Taj Hotel.

The year 2004 was an amazing year for me. I became financially independent during that time. I also did many other 'great' things. The highlights of 2004 included meeting Arti (my best female friend) and the marriage of my sister. That year I (re)discovered the value of friends and friendships. They kept (and still keep) me going!

YEAR: 2005
LOCATION: New Delhi, India / Melbourne, Australia / Bristol, UK

A ticket for jumping a red-light (the fun we had inside the Courts!).


On the Great Ocean Road, Melbourne, Australia.


Me and my friends in Bristol, the most amazing bunch (Johnson, Me, Amol and Bhuvan).

The year 2005 was even better than 2004. Both on a personal and public front. The highlight was having Amol as a housemate. He was just as crazy as I was. Then there was the trip to Australia (for a conference) and meeting my sister (Nupur) for the first time after marriage. My trip to India was amazing thanks largely to my Mom.
Also my close friend Varun got married (another one bites the dust!).



2006 as yet has been amazing too. Met many new people and made some very good friends (Sorabh and Vikas among them). But as they say.. happiness has a short shelf life.. thus I always believe in sharing my happiness with other people. I hope after seeing this post the people mentioned here will carry around a smile with them (at least for a few hours!) as they remember the good times.
For those people not mentioned in this post. You guys and gals are even more important to me and thats why I have not mentioned you. So please don't get angry!

Drops of Gold!

Flowers In My Backyard!






Once again taken using my Canon S2 IS.

Flowers of May!

There you go Ambrosia. Some flowers for you. Take your pic(k)!


Pics taken by me using Canon S2 IS camera.

Some wild flowers growing near the gate of our house.
Arent they beautiful? I wonder what kind they are?
Any girls like them?

Tickets to Somewhere

Earlier I was going to name this post "Tickets to Nowhere" but I think these tickets did take me someplace. They took me to a place where friendship rules. Where you unpack your suitcase of problems upon arrival but when you leave you just pack happiness and good feelings.

This is what I wrote on the way back from Gatwick Airport...

The Tickets to Nowhere...

I write this as I head back towards Bristol. Sitting on the FK200 bus service between Bristol and Gatwick for the fourth time in the last three days.
Been out of the house since 9 in the morning, it is 5 in the evening now. Haven't eaten since dinner yesterday.

Is it fate or just pure bad luck I ask myself?
Am I the most idiotic person on the Earth?
Till now have I just been extremely lucky?

The trip to Croatia (tickets which you can see above) started off on the wrong foot.
It seemed jinxed from the word go. I was equally idiotic and lazy about the whole thing.

It started off with me not realising that I would need a long time to get the visa for Croatia.
Then somehow things looked a bit on the bright side when the visa issue got resolved (or so I thought).
But then at the last minute upon reaching Gatwick I came up against BIG problem which pretty much ended my Croatia trip (once again so I thought!). Heading back by to Bristol by Bus on Sunday pretty much made me happy. I was sick and tired of the mental stressed caused by this Croatia business. I thought atlast it has ended and it was no fault of mine.

But then the trip got revived. The problems were sorted out by my supervisor and in the end all things looked good to go. But then as it was time for me to hand my documents over to the check in staff at Gatwick today (Tuesday) I realised that I had either lost my passport or forgotten it at home.

That put the full stop on the trip. End of the story.
Wasted around 600 pounds of my supervisor's funds. Didn't get to present my paper.
My supervisor would get embarrassed since he had to fight a lot to get me another chance to travel. Falling down in his eyes is something that has hurt me the most.

How can I redeem myself from this?
I just hope to God that I don't get any bright pieces of luck in the future such as trips to exotic places.
I surely don't deserve them.

But I have No Regrets/No Remorse


This is a classic case of the fact that if something doesnt have to happen it won't happen no matter how hard you try or how good your luck is.

From A Friend...

The dead guy is supposed to be me. This was drawn by a friend.

I felt like the dead guy today. I wish there was someone to throw flowers at my dead body.

M667 Lance Tactical Nuclear Missile Launch System

This is the launch vehicle (M752) of the Lance Tactical Nuclear Missile Launch System.
The M667 was seen as a shoot and scoot kind of missle launch system (also capable of handling missiles with a nuclear warhead).
Shoot and scoot means the system is highly mobile and capable of quickly launching a missle followed by a rapid re-deployment at a different location.

More information here and scroll down. A quote from the above:

A Lance Battalion had 5 Batteries. 1 HQ, and 1 Service Battery that held the re-supply of missiles, and 3 firing batteries. Same concept as an Infantry Company/Battalion. Each battery had 2 launchers, and 2 Assembly and transport vehicles (same frame, but with the crane.) The A&T platoon had 5 extended wheel base 5 ton vehicles, and would store up to 22 missile bodies, and warheads.

Delhi : The Heat is ON!

I LOVE DELHI!

Delhi Summers are amazing!
I love the 44 degree days with the loo really cooking things nicely!

Walking in that heat brings you closer to God (in more than one way if your not careful!) and I think of it as a spiritual experience. The best thing is your sweat dries faster than you can generate it. :D

There is one thing which can't be beaten about the Delhi summers.
Its the summers morning.
Get up half an hour before dawn and go outside (if you have a garden its even better!).
Smell the night air and the summer flowers. See the stars boiling away in the sky far above your head.
Feel the gentle caress of the Summer night.
Then slowly the Sun rises across India. As it turns warmer you realise how cool the night actually was.

The only crap time in Delhi is when the monsoons are on. You just had a nice refreshing bath. You feeling like the king (or queen for the females!) of the world.
You enter your nicely chilled AC room (thanking god you can afford an AC). Lie down in bed.
Then the lights go out and within ten minutes you are lying in a pool of your own sweat.

Bristol and beyond!

Bristol (UK)
Is the BEST CITY in the UK!
It is not too big, not too small. Near to major cities in UK (London and Birmingham).
Its at the junction of two motorways (North-South M5 and East-West M4).
Close to Wales (lots of natural beauty and some great places to visit).

The city is not too crowded. It has nice weather. Little or no snow during winters. Clear bright summers. This is paradise.

We got a great little airport, excellent shopping malls and not to mention two VERY GOOD Universities!

This city mixes the rural with the urban with huge open fields in between an urban landscape. The waterfront is amazing especially during the Harbour festival and the Clifton bridge simply AMAZING!

Bristol has got old world architecture (Clifton area) as well as modern offices and living spaces (Bradley Stoke and Aztec West).

I spent some of the best and worst days of my life here. Been happy and surrounded by friends in Bristol. Been lonely and depressed in Bristol.

Here is one for Bristol!

Dowry

READ THIS FIRST (ALSO READ THE COMMENTS!)


Great to see so much talk being generated about this issue. But thats where it usually stops. We are all ready to back social issues in principle. But when we find ourselves in a similar situation we tend to take the easy way out: When in Rome do as the Romans do.
In the end, as it has always been, the success of the play depends on the main actoress and her abilities. If the bride has courage and determination then no one can dare do anything.
Even her parents would gain strength from the fact that their daughter is bold and able to handle such issues.

But how will the daughter become bold?

Most Indian woman are sexist when it comes to relationships. They want the guy to take initiative. Once they do that they have already handed the control over to the guys side.
As we are seeing today girls (esp. in metro cities) are starting to take the initiative. I would like to see someone asking for a dowry from a well educated working professional of a girl. A girl who is aware of what she can do.

Finally as far as giving away your daughter in style is concerned I think as long as it is the brides family doing it without pressure from the grooms side, it is ok.
Even if they do it because of social pressure. After all everyone tries to have the best possible image in the society they live in.

Its the same with those people who have posted on this blog. In the society we move around in (probably well educated people) if you said dowry was a good thing you would become a social outcast.

The same way in a village if you say dowry is a bad thing you become a social outcast.

In the end remember human being is a social animal. And whether for good or for bad we always try to adjust to our surroundings and society. The few of those who don't are called visionaries or crackpots. But it takes courage to be either.


DOWRY PART 2
READ THIS FIRST (ALSO READ THE COMMENTS!)

again while I agree to the fact that if more people end up questioning the concept of dowry (esp. men looking to get married) it would become a taboo, I don't think society is a uniform creature.
The society of well educated forward thinking people, that is often to be found only in major cities, would certainly benefit from such kind of questioning. In fact such a society has a high sense of ethics and morality(at least in public!) so they know at some level that dowry is bad. Thus you will find them vociferously protesting against various social evils at all the right places.

But the society WE make does not in any way extend or connect with the society which actively practices the evil of dowry (to be found in the smaller cities). Thus we do not have a great influnce on them.

Now I agree with you that dowry is a very bad thing and like you said social pressure does encourage it. But my question is.. how do we influence a society so very different from ours?
How do we translate a seminar in an A/C auditorium (I hope it was) into action in a small town where everyone (almost!) thinks that girls are a burden?

In the end it comes down to the classical reply given by people who are struggling under a rotten system when you try and show them the way out: 'But we have to live here, we can't go against the system, you will go away who will help us then?'

I think you cannot remove the social pressure. You need to start not with the adults. They have already had their values/morals/ethics hard wired.
Start with the kids. Start with the female child.

Like I mentioned the new generation of educated working women are ready to kick ass. They are still in minority but the numbers are surely increasing (like you said a start has been made!). This concept will slowly reach the smaller cities.
And thats how you will remove dowry.

Dowry exists because somewhere in the mind of the typical Indian female exists a major inferiority complex. They define themselves by their man. They know/think/believe that without a man they cannot survive in society.
This complex is what is exploited when demanding dowry.

When does support turn into supplication in a girls mind I don't know. Maybe that is the reason Indian families don't break up that easily w.r.t. some countries. The women learn to sacrifice their individuality for the greater good of the family.
In the major cities we see as women get more independent the divorce rates are on a rise.
Maybe these two things are tied in.

On one side the dominated female (Happy Families but evils like dowry, bride burning etc.) on the other side the dominating female (Happy Families but evils like extra-mar. affairs/families torn apart by divorce etc.)

What would you choose?

Indian Women are sexist!

Indian women are sexist! Then they blame us guys for sexism in society!

Why do I say Indian women are sexist?
Well they always want the guy to approach first, to say I love you first, to ask for marriage first etc. etc. Thus they assume the guy will take all the effort to bring the relationship to the next stage!

So you can say an Indian relationship is like chess. In chess white always plays first, same thing happens to the guys. We guys always get to play first!

If the girl says no to any of the questions then it is we guys who have to deal with the embarrassment! No wonder less stable (in other words idiotic) guys end up doing crazy stuff when girls say no.

I know I will never be the first to say 'I love you' to a girl. Let her come and say it to me first. This does increase the chances of me remaining single all my life and never finding love. In fact you never know, I might find a girl someday who has the power to make me the first one to say 'I love you'.

Quest for happiness...

I dont think we are saying contradictory things.

From the example you give - leaving home for a better future and swallowing the pain of leaving home - I dont call it 'sacrificing', happines, but rather being pragmatic - I have to leave home because thats how I can be happy afterwards...

I guess - I dont call leaving home as sacrificing 'happiness', because as you said - you might have to be away for - one yr, maybe 2?, 3? 5?...and sacrificing happiness - means that one is unhappy for all these years.

I am uncomfortable with this because if you have a feeling of 'unhappiness' all the time inside you, its very difficult to do great things, one does not settle down to what life has to offer in a new place - and is always craving for what one left behind home.

No - I would say, accept the fact that you have to leave home (pragmatism), and do the best to achieve what you want and believe in your karma...that how much effort you put you will reap all of it...

I guess for me - 'happiness' is not material good - but to be at 'peace with myself and my surroundings', to love what is there already and to be positive...

And that is why I said that 'a right decision' cannot be linked with unhappiness...it will go hand in hand with positive energy of happiness.

In a way we are saying the same thing. At the same time there is some confusion as to happiness and what it means to be happy.

Leaving home is a big sacrifice w.r.t. happiness because as they say home is where the heart is! But like you said one has to be pragmatic and sacrifice happiness for a better tomorrow.
Also you might be totally at peace with your surroundings when you are away from home. You might have better set of friends than what you had back home and be whole lot happier. But forever there will be a shadow on all your celebrations and moments of joy. The shadow of seperation, of not having your loved ones to share those moments with.

Being at peace is more a lack of emotions and feeling. You are at peace when you feel neither happiness nor sadness. It means your emotions have been unplugged. When you meditate you cut yourself off from the world and empty your brain. You can be at peace anywhere and in any situation. As far as being positive is concerned it has nothing to do with happiness. Often we need to be our positive best when surrounded by problems. A positive outlook often leads to happiness by making you stronger and more able to handle tough situations in life.

I am uncomfortable with this because if you have a feeling of 'unhappiness' all the time inside you, its very difficult to do great things, one does not settle down to what life has to offer in a new place - and is always craving for what one left behind home.

Finally like I said I think all great things in this world have come about as a direct result of people being unhappy and then channeling that unhappiness into action.
India is a free country because people were unhappy with their lot under the British and decided to do something about it. Recently democracy was restored in Nepal when angry and unhappy people channeled their negative emotions into action.

Remember the ultimate goal of unhappiness and sworrow is to bring joy, if you are positive and practical!


As Agatha Christie puts it:
“Most successes are unhappy. That's why they are successes - they have to reassure themselves about themselves by achieving something that the world will notice.”

For the time being...

READ THIS FIRST:

Azahar Machwe said...
Often taking the right step or making the correct decision involves sacrificing something... and at a personal level happiness is the thing easiest to sacrifice for things like stability and long term security.

11:34 PM


kalpalata said...
azahar machwe, you confuse me. How can that which is achieved at the cost of happiness be 'correct decision' or 'right step'?

I think it is more 'pragmatism' that makes us sacrifice happiness for the time being.

NOW READ THIS:

kalpalata its pretty simple.. There are many situations in life where our happiness lies in the way of making the correct decision.

Just a small example from my life: Say you get a good opportunity to work/study abroad which will improve your career prospects. This in turn will allow you to give your parents and future family an added level of comfort.
But you are unhappy about leaving home. Your happiness lies with staying at home with your family and friends.
Yet the right decision is to go out since that will make you a tougher individual and will be good for your overall growth.
Thus you sacrifice your happiness for what is right. And in the end by sacrificing your happiness for 4-5 years you not only become a new person but you also gain strength of mind and heart.

Reading the second line of your comment is bit confusing.. how do you define 'for the time being'?
is it 1 yr? 2 yrs? 5 yrs?

Because remember often great things are done not by just giving up things which make us happy 'for the time being' but by giving them up for a considerable amount of time.

And finally we don't know how much time god has given us with our loved ones... and how much time THEY have with us.
So some times 'for the time being' can mean forever.

Conspiracy Theory

Pramod Mahajan (an important leader in the opposition party) is dead.
He was shot around 2 weeks ago by his brother. He had been undergoing extensive surgery and treatments to try and save him.

Now the thing is... what if the Congress Party somehow managed to get his brother to kill him. His brother already had issues against Pramod Mahajan (or so they say!). What if Congress promised to get him out once he killed his brother (who was seen as one of the leading lights of BJP and often described as a master strategist).

For people with no background in Indian politics. There are only two major parties in India who can hope to hold the Central Govt. The Congress Party and Bhartiya Janta Party (BJP). Congress won the last election therefore BJP sits in the opposition.
Now Pramod Mahajan was the main person behind the coalition movement which bought BJP to power (as the major party in National Democratic Alliance (NDA) coalition in 1999.
But once Congress came to power in the last elections BJP as a party and opposing force was reduced in strength as its coalition fell apart.

Pramod Mahajan might have been the man to spin the magic again for the next election, for the BJP.
Even though it is very difficult to challenge Sonia Gandhi (leader of Congress Party) now the same cannot be said for her son in the years to come. Her son Rahul Gandhi is being touted as the future leader of Congress Party and definitely a future Prime Minister of India.

For Rahul Gandhi, Pramod Mahajan certainly would have been one of the major roadblocks on the road to becoming Prime Minister.

It is also surprising to see the fall of Pramod Mahajan happen at the same times as the dramatic exposure of Rahul Gandhi to the common people during the campaigning for the State elections in UP by the Congress Party.

Added Later

Comment:

Sorry to say this, but that is stretching it too far. But you could consider insiders, the likes of Arun Jaitley, Sushma Swaraj for thinking or wishing for Mahajan's death.
The first thing is who benefit from his death? Not congress as Congress also have the young and upcoming star in Rahul Gandhi. And Mahajan's was a backroom politics, or sort of. But if Mahajan is out, Jaitley could be the next man? I am not saying anything but just thinking aloud.

Don't be sorry! I don't mind free thinking. Thats why I posted this entry. Good thinking, but the only problem I see in your reasoning is that Mahajan was one of the key people to organise the NDA coalition and a central person within the party.

Why would BJP shoot itself in the foot ? As it is they don't have a dynamic leader to push against the Congress and now with Mahajan gone they are weaker than ever before!

Miss Insanity

i WANT you baby! says:
wanna tell me a secret?
Carrier Wave says:
me?
Carrier Wave says:
sure y not
Carrier Wave says:
beautiful gals freak me out
i WANT you baby! says:
y?

Carrier Wave says:
coz beauty goes straight to my heart bypassing the brain!