You know you got a drinking problem when most of your stories start with..
"I had just finished half a litre of scotch (or gin or vodka 0r...) ..."
Thats what the story of my life is like. The best thoughts come when I am drunk. What a pity.
The heart thinks the clearest when I am drunk.
I live the most when I am alone.
I live the most when it is dark.
I live the most when I am drunk.
:)
A.
This image of Ursa Major constellation (The Big Dipper) was taken by me on the 14th of July 2005. The bright red fluffs are clouds and the time is 11:10 pm.
Taken in a long exposure shot from my humble little Sony P100 cam.
When people say stuff like '..the pain is my strength..' I feel strange..
Pain can never be a strength... your strength is your will... which was formed by the pain like diamond is formed due to high pressure and heat.
If u remove the coal dust from the diamond it doesnt destroy it only makes it sparkle more.
Your strength is your family, your friends
Your strength is the faith in God and faith in yourself.
Thats what I believe...
:)
Its one of the best movies I have ever seen.
Its based on Steinbeck's novel by the same name.
"we are the people, we will always go on"
Its all about the Dust Bowl years in the US.
It talks about a poor family who head out to California, from Oklahoma in search of a better life.
It has scenes of the old US 66 highway with some stunning desert scenery.
Amazing!
The Lonely Shepherd by Gheorghe Zamfir is one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever written (in my humble opinion).
The pan pipes give this piece a haunting theme.
The section when the guitars start along with the drums and sax. is just TOO good.
Makes me think of divergence and seperation.
It makes me think of deep space seperating us from the stars... it makes me think of long journeys and the 'path not taken'.
About love.. but at the same time not about it... sometimes I just feel that I have no energy left to handle anything and just feel like giving it all up.
Yesterday was talking about someone with a friend of mine and I just realised that it is much easier to kill love than to understand it.
Sometimes you just dont feel like investing time in trying to understand why did you fall in love and all the resulting doubts and questions are thus kept at bay.
Must be the summer months...
About the pic. A lonely road in a small English town (Abingdon,Oxon). Taken on a summers evening in July (06/07/05).
Some guys would think that it is pretty cool to be able to drive girls crazy about them.
I seem to have the same effect on certain people... but its not quite the 'good way' crazy..
Arti says:
.........its awesome...u know it and u absolutely nothing abt my anger
Arti says:
other than increasing it
;)
Recently friends and people have been telling me that I have changed... that the nature of my blog has changed. From a negative sad one it has transfromed into something a bit more positive.
As the dawn breaks outside (4AM) and the desk fan toils away in the back ground to provide me with some air I sit and wonder as I sip my coffee... how much I have changed and how far still I have to travel on this path of change.
The main problems which used to plague me before were mostly of my making.
One realises that when you let go of things it makes life much much easier than sitting and worrying about them.
Flaming June: thats the title of a techno song. But now that the summer is here my enthusiasm graph is at an all time low. These days I have been staying awake all night and then sleeping at stranger and stranger hours!
From sleeping at 6am (Tuesday) I am down to sleeping at 1pm (Saturday). Hopefully today (Sunday) I will not sleep at all till the night and thus my sleep cycle will be corrected (hopefully).
My thoughts have become abstract and sometimes I think I am loosing my mind (what a happy thought!).
The true dog days are here! :D
All through this I managed to keep doing some work. So all is not lost.
The summer is always a difficult time for me. Makes fall/winter even more tempting.
:)
Summer months are the months I feel as if my brain has been disconnected from my body and it is now being controlled by a more basic intelligence.
I become a caveman in the summer.
