I think sometimes a lonely road can bring you more peace than a room full of friends.
Over the past few days I have felt down in the dumps.. there have been days when nothing has worked.. and there will be days in the near future when again nothing will work. But I realised that this time I could handle it. I had resolved the panic. It was there at the bottom of my stomach... and it still is. But it is in control. No longer in control of me.
This has again led me to believe that however bleak your situation might seem... there are always things you can do to improve it. So even if you are surrounded by Antlions (Half Life 2) and just have couple of shotgun rounds left... or if you are running from a Cyberdeamon (Doom 2) with your health down to 10%, with no where to hide... or if in the plain old real world ur screwed with your back against the wall... dont panic.. think things through and you shall prevail. And if the panic is so bad that your brain shuts down.. then stop thinking and go with your instincts till your brain kicks back in.
Another anecdote from INDO-US 'friendship' story.. (from www.businessworldindia.com):
Americans have always put a high premium on style in their dealings with foreign leaders. Rukmini Menon, who was joint secretary in charge of Americas in the Ministry of External Affairs during Kissinger's visit to India in 1971, in a failed attempt to douse the flames of Bangladesh liberation, recalls how the German-American diplomat famous for his intellect tried to downplay substance when he met defence minister Jagjivan Ram, who was preparing for war in East Pakistan. Kissinger had extended an invitation to Ram to visit Washington in the hope that the gesture would win him over. It did not impress Ram, and Kissinger was speechless when the defence minister responded: "Why should I come to Washington?"
"Robert Blackwill once said economic relations between India and the US were as 'flat as a chappati'- a comparison that did not go down well with many Indians. Do you see that changing? What would it take to put a 'puri' on the table instead?"
This is taken from an interview I read on www.businessworldindia.com
One of the most fascinating things about this whole INDO-US friendship is that the Americans somehow still dont trust us and at the same times we Indians are a proud lot.
India is a classic example of earth and sky meeting as one. On on side you have the latest gadgets being sold in the bold new malls of New Delhi, a city which has neither the electricity to power them nor water to quench the thirst of people using them.
Every year the news items are the same. In April/May it is about how the mercury is climbing (read SOARING!) and how there is neither enough water nor electricity to take us through the summer. What I find most amazing is that after a long winter and a gentle spring we forget the pains of summer and are seemingly surprised when the outside temperature reaches the mid 40s (celsius).
Similarly the US is a classic example of such a contradiction. Although there the problems are not as basic as availability of clean water and power. There the problems are more complex. A rot seems to have set into the core of society itself. As people go about their daily lives with a single minded dedication to make it over the next Quality of Life barrier (on their way to the top) they forget the basics of life itself.
Maybe you need hardships in life to keep you grounded.
:)
A.
Sometimes I think I have very strong instincts.
Its like a radar which starts beeping when some crap is going to land on my head.
It doesnt tell me what will happen. I dont have ESP. But what I have is a little red light somewhere in the back of my head which starts glowing when some shit is around the corner.
I think we are all born with it.. but we loose it as we are educated in society by society about how to be 'social'.
When our neural network learns something it forgets something else.
New connections are made and old ones broken.
New patterns emerge and old ones are lost.
I wonder if it is possible for us to re-develop our instincts.
And if possible would we want to do that?
Would we want to give up our instant food plastic shrinkwraped lives for a life of full abandon, a life being lived each second.
A life where differences are cherished. Where people dont walk the beaten path.
Sometimes I feel the sense of spiritual and emotional adventure is dead.
For me love is like a lamp with different shades of mirror.
Each shade represents a different kind of love.
Say pink for love for a sweetheart, blue for the love of friendship and so on.
But till we have that flame of love burning within the lamp we cannot project any kind of love.
That is what I think.
:)
A.
You know you got a drinking problem when most of your stories start with..
"I had just finished half a litre of scotch (or gin or vodka 0r...) ..."
Thats what the story of my life is like. The best thoughts come when I am drunk. What a pity.
The heart thinks the clearest when I am drunk.
I live the most when I am alone.
I live the most when it is dark.
I live the most when I am drunk.
:)
A.
This image of Ursa Major constellation (The Big Dipper) was taken by me on the 14th of July 2005. The bright red fluffs are clouds and the time is 11:10 pm.
Taken in a long exposure shot from my humble little Sony P100 cam.
When people say stuff like '..the pain is my strength..' I feel strange..
Pain can never be a strength... your strength is your will... which was formed by the pain like diamond is formed due to high pressure and heat.
If u remove the coal dust from the diamond it doesnt destroy it only makes it sparkle more.
Your strength is your family, your friends
Your strength is the faith in God and faith in yourself.
Thats what I believe...
:)
Its one of the best movies I have ever seen.
Its based on Steinbeck's novel by the same name.
"we are the people, we will always go on"
Its all about the Dust Bowl years in the US.
It talks about a poor family who head out to California, from Oklahoma in search of a better life.
It has scenes of the old US 66 highway with some stunning desert scenery.
Amazing!
The Lonely Shepherd by Gheorghe Zamfir is one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever written (in my humble opinion).
The pan pipes give this piece a haunting theme.
The section when the guitars start along with the drums and sax. is just TOO good.
Makes me think of divergence and seperation.
It makes me think of deep space seperating us from the stars... it makes me think of long journeys and the 'path not taken'.
