Everything Evolutionary!

The Con of Don and Randomness of Ra-One

2012-01-01T21:22:00.003Z

"Apne aap ko hamare hawale kar do!"

This dialog has been ringing in our ears from Mumbai, 1978 (original Don) to Berlin 2011 (Don 2). But something that added to the suspense yesterday, only made the audience laugh today.

Unfortunately the same has happened to good old Shah Rukh Khan.

Both the movies were over-hyped under-prepared offerings, much like a cake that is burnt from the outside and still raw from the inside.

Both were about Shah Rukh Khan the actor and the ego, definitely not about the story. One had super-glamour of Kareena Kapoor and the needless magic of special effects (some of them really good!). The other had Priyanka Chopra trying her best to give her best in a bit role, playing second fiddle to 'Don' SRK.

Finally both were seeking to bring in a new style of film-making into Bollywood.

But I think they failed badly. In case of Ra-One we were unable to find the common ground between a Hindi family drama about a woman loosing her husband and a sci-fi thriller about the fight between good and evil. Maybe such a common point exists, but definitely finding it would not be aided by all the attention going on a super-star actor playing the lead role.

In Don 2 things are bit more different. There the movie is about one person and everyone else plays second fiddle. There is a lot of forced style injection, most of it at the wrong place. All the 'action' sequences are old by about 3 years (even for Bollywood).

We can go on bashing both the movies but one common factor responsible for the failure of these movies is Shah Rukh Khan. He has grown too large for any role.

So what he needs is to destroy his own reputation and do some meaningful cinema. Which means (to put it simply) stop hyping his movies, concentrate more on the script and NOT his part in it. Something similar to how we cut a rose plant to encourage growth.

Maybe the first thing he needs to do is watch some of his older and more 'honest' works like Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman, Darr and Chak-de India.

Good luck SRK! Hope to see you back at your best in 2012!

Istanbul Diary

2011-06-21T14:24:00.008+01:00

Date of visit: 12th June 2011 - 19th June 2011

Istanbul may not be the capital of Turkey (the capital is Ankara) but it is surely one of the most beautiful cities in the world. We found the city to be an amazing mix of the old and the new. It is also a city where the new infrastructure supports the old monuments. The transport system is excellent especially the tram system.

Let us talk about one thing at a time:

1) Transport:

Probably the most important thing of all. Being able to move around Istanbul is absolutely critical as each part of the city has its own flavour. Even though most of the must-do places are clustered in the Sultanahmet area you will need to negotiate the local transport system if you want a fuller experience.

Looking towards Sultanahmet Square - on Yeniceriler Street

- Get down to the IETT office in Karkoy Square (in the Karkoy Funicular Station) or the IETT travel shop east of Galatta Bridge and get an IstanbulKart (Oyster card like travel card). Akbil system is finished and you will have to buy an IstanbulKart. Each card costs 10YTL (non-refundable) and then you can top-up at machines or kiosks (lots of them around). Remember one IstanbulKart can be used by more than one person but you will get the discounted rates only once per use (it is a strange system!).

Looking towards Karkoy Square and the Galatta Bridge

- Otherwise you can get yourself some Jeton tokens. Each token is valid for a single entry and exit and costs 1.78YTL. Jetonmatik machines are there at almost every station.

- Another option is a mavi (blue) travel-card which is like a normal unlimited-travel, fixed-period card. It is available at the IETT travelshop in Karkoy Square.

The ferry for the Asian shore at Eminou - heading for Harem

Crossing the Bosphorous on the ferry

- Trams are amazing for travelling around and they connect to all major sights including Dolmabache Palace and Sultanahmet (which includes the big 3 of Topkapi Palace, Blue Mosque and Aya Sofya). The only problem is they are usually very crowded but the service is frequent and the trams tend to travel in pairs. Therefore many times the tram in front is jam packed but if you wait 5 minutes the tram behind it will come and it will be a lot less crowded.

- Take the local ferries to cross the Bosphorous, you can use your IstanbulKart on them.

- Try and avoid taking taxis. They are expensive and most will not want to take you by the meter.

- One easy (and cheap) way of getting to the airport for your return flight is to book yourself on a bus. If you give your hotel address they will pick you up from the hotel itself. The ticket costs 11YTL per head and the coaches leave quite frequently. You can buy the ticket from a kiosk in front of the AyaSofya (near the Exit).

2) Being a Tourist:

Being a tourist in Istanbul you will need to relay on bottled water, soft-drinks and eateries (unless you have the option to cook your own food!). One good thing about Istanbul is that water is cheaper than coke. 1.5 ltr of water costs 1YTL and a 300ml can of coke costs 1.5YTL. In fact the good thing is that coke and other soft drinks can be insanely expensive which encourages you to drink water. Which is good because my first tip is about water.

- Drink lots of water! You will be doing a lot of walking around in the city and it can get very hot and humid there. Keep a big bottle of water with you and keep yourself hydrated. Drink only bottled water.

- The main touristy areas are VERY safe. Police personnel are seen everywhere and there are regular police patrols, especially in the core areas. Just take the basic precautions and all should be well.

- It is better to take the excellent audio guides at Aya Sofya and Topkapi palace than a guide as both these places are quite big and should be done at your own pace. The audio guides give good coverage of the building and are very cheap. Remember to take a photo-id (any card with a photograph of yourself will do) as they will require you to deposit it before they give you the audio guide. Prices: Aya Sofya - 10YTL, Topkapi - 10YTL for Harem OR Palace, 20 YTL for both.

- If you don't like to get into needless conversations with shopkeepers trying to get your custom (especially in the Grand Bazaar and Spice Bazaar) then learn how to say 'No, Thank you' in Turkish or just quickly give them a smile and a wave. A common way to start a conversation is by asking you which country are you from, if you tell them they will say something nice about the country which will be swiftly followed by a 'special country price' for you.

- A note about currency. Even though the official currency of Turkey is the New Turkish Lira (YTL) almost all the main places in Istanbul (including shops in Grand Bazaar) will accept (and often give out the price) in Euros. Dollar and Pounds are equally well received. My advice would be to stick to YTL (makes sure you are not dependent on the shopkeeper's ad-hoc exchange rate).

ATM machines in the touristy areas give out money in YTL, Euro and Dollars.

- In our opinion (me and Mrs.) Topkapi Palace is a must do (both Harem and Administrative area). Dolmabache palace do the main area but the Harem can be skipped as you get a good flavor of the decor while visiting the main area. Also the main area guided tour passes through the Harem so you can take a quick look around.

3) Food:

Istanbul is a city famous for its kebabs (or kebaps) and obviously the world famous 'Turkish Delights'. The variety, cost and quality of food is quite variable. A simple chicken doner wrap (really tasty) in the Sultanahmet area (the touristy part of the city) can cost around 5YTL. But head about 2 kms west-wards towards Beyazit - Istanbul University the cost goes down to 3.5YTL.

- Remember, in the restaurants and 'self-serve' cafeterias, ALWAYS ask the price before you order anything. While in most restaurants and cafes the price along with a photograph of the main dishes are displayed clearly, some places can be really sneaky about it. Especially in the Sultanahmet area. Prices tend to change with the weather and the face of the person buying.

- Also many times in the self-serve cafeterias the person serving at the food counter may try and force items on your plate (especially if you are buying a salad platter). Also the restaurant owners are found standing outside trying to get customers. Most are good natured and will indulge in harmless banter but some can really get aggressive.

- When buying a kebab, if it says 'meat' always find out what kind of meat it is. There meat usually means a mix of lamb and beef. If you are not a beef-eater make sure you order a dish that says lamb or chicken. Most eating joints in the core areas will understand if you tell them that you want no beef or if you want only vegetarian food.

- Eat at Simit Sarayi. It is the Turkish version of Starbucks and the food is EXCELLENT and the staff understand English. Simit Sarayi shops are everywhere and the baked stuff they sell is quite tasty. I would recommend the spinach rose puff and the cheese puff. Turkish coffee they serve here is quite good as well. It is not cheap but it is also not expensive. In other words it is a good place to stop, whether it is for an evening snack and coffee or a heavy breakfast.

- The local Turkish chai (tea) and Apple tea are really good as well for giving you that kick at the end of the day.

4) Bosphorous Cruise:

There are several options here. Many operators offer a short 1.5 hours cruise but I would suggest doing the longer 5 hour tour. It costs 25YTL and it is well worth every Lira. The full cruise takes you almost to the Black Sea (double the distance of the shorter cruise) and has an added benefit of giving you a two hour stopover at Anadolu Kavagi (Asian shore), which is towards the northern end of the Bosphorous.

There is a very picturesque castle there. The castle is about 1.5 kms away from where the boat docks. The climb up to the castle is a bit stiff but can be easily done in the 2 hour window with enough time left for a quick lunch by the dockside once you are back (don't eat before setting out for the castle!). There are excellent views of the Black Sea and both the Asian and European sides as well as the Bosphorous, from the castle. The road up to the castle also gives good views of the village and the city of Istanbul in the distance.

5) Leander's Tower (Maiden's Tower):

Leander's Tower is a must-do attraction. Boats go from both the Asian as well as the European side and cost 5YTL per head. On the Asian side take the boat from the landing near the Harem ferry station. On the European side take the boat from the landing near Dolmabache Palace.

I would recommend having a coffee at the coffee-shop on top of Leander's tower.

Activia Yogurt: Not suitable for vegetarians?

2011-05-09T23:20:00.006+01:00

When I was in 5th standard we had a story in our English reader titled 'Look before you eat'.
The moral of the story was, you guessed it, to always look before you eat.

But in this modern age of packaged processed food there is no knowing what you might find if you do look at the printed stuff on the packaging before you eat it. It could be something funny or something scary.

So here goes my personal 'look before you eat' story. The other day while shopping I saw a rhubarb yogurt from Activia. Now we have all seen the yummy looking ads they show on TV, so I said to myself (being a good little consumer), why not try it!
Later that evening, after finishing dinner, I sat down with my Activia rhubarb yogurt in front of the TV. Maybe I was getting bored with what was on the telly or it was god guiding my hands, but I happened to look down at the yogurt pot in my hand (as yet unopened) and saw loads of stuff written in fine print.
That got me curious so I decided to read what it said.. and the funny thing was the first thing that caught my eye was a warning: Not suitable for vegetarians (see pic).

Now that made me even more curious, I mean what could be there in rhubarb yogurt that made it not suitable for vegetarians?
So I went through the list of ingredients and one word leaped out (see pic): Cochineal.

Now that didn't sound chemical, didn't sound fruity, didn't sound meaty. The word cochineal sounded just plain alien. Something about it set of my 'research instincts' and I opened up Google on my phone (Google is our friend!) to find out what exactly is this cochineal stuff.

The result was anything but boring!
As per Wikipedia: "The cochineal (/kɒtʃɨˈniːl/ koch-i-neel or /ˈkɒtʃɨniːl/ KOCH-i-neel; Dactylopius coccus) is a scale insect in the suborder Sternorrhyncha, from which the crimson-coloured dye carmine is derived"

In other words the Activia rhubarb yogurt contains a dye that is extracted from insects. Thus making it unsuitable for vegetarians (?) where as us non-veggies are not expected to be bothered by insect-origin ingredients. Hell, isn't a chicken a really really large and feathered insect?

;)

P.S.: Not all Activia stuff is 'not suitable for vegetarians'. Their strawberry one is 'suitable for vegetraians'. From now on those three words are going to be my guide whenver I try new products.

Source Code

2011-04-11T13:59:00.003+01:00

Guys will know what reaction one can get when you suggest a sci-fi movie to our girlfriends/wives/sisters/female friends. The amount of bribing, begging and pleading required to convince females to watch a sci-fi movie is sometimes amazing. But Source Code is a movie for the masses. It is not a heavy machinegun fire filled sci-fi romp that it sounds like. In fact it is a very smooth movie with both a romantic twist as well as an intelligent storyline (girls how many rom-coms can boast of both?). At the same time, believe it or not, it explores the nature and meaning of 'death' and the quantum nature of reality. So it is a sci-fi rom-com thriller with an intelligent base for the story. The movie starts of at the deep end (like all thrillers should) and the plot is laid out bit by bit in every scene. Watching this movie is kind of like peeling an onion and many people will find it simlar to Vantage point but a whole lot less confusing. The basic storyline is simple: a bomb on the train, hero has to locate the bomb and the bomber. Then comes the first big twist: the hero has just 8 minutes to achieve that. From there on it is just one layer after another. Go watch this movie even if the trailor or the title made you think yaawn not another time-travel sci-fi thriller with explosions and stupid twists. The only complaint I have about this movie is that short-cuts are taken with the location of the bomb and the bomber. This has been done, obviously, to fit the timescale. It would be impossible for the hero to search a double decker commuter train with around 400 passengers in 8 minutes. Thus the reason for taking a short-cut! But all that aside, the movie is quite good and I rate it as a must see! :)

My pilgrimage to the Jet Airways Office..

2011-01-08T19:31:00.001Z

Jet Airways are really good at customer service. So good in fact, that they want you to come to their office and sample their customer service first hand, where as other ‘stupid’ airlines believe in getting the work done over the phone!

This was when we had to postpone the return leg of our journey (as we had one change free). So we called them up and got the booking changed (which was rather efficient, I must admit!).

Then came the surprise. They asked us to come to their city office (in Rajiv Chowk, New Delhi) or the one at the International Airport (a good 1 hrs. drive one way) to physically get the e-ticket changed.

Not only that they also asked us to bring the old e-ticket and a copy of the passports (for identification purposes, as if our identities had changed somehow!). I asked the person that why can’t you e-mail us a copy of the new e-ticket (duh! E-mail - E-ticket!) but he said sorry that cannot be done.

So thus began the great pilgrimage to the Jet Airways office.

As we had LOADS of time for random forced journeys (I mean we ARE on our holiday!), we chose the city office thinking it would be easier to get it done there.

So there we presented ourselves at 4pm (by the way office closes SHARP at 5.30pm) only to find the small office (for a BIG airline the front office was the size of a small cozy coffee-shop) full of people. At the desk were two partially trained office staff handling a queue of about twenty-five people.

Let me digress and describe their business process (or the lack thereof).

So the agent sitting on the front desk will physically get-up to give certain documents to the cashier (and a normal transaction would require couple of such trips). Then there would be a small conference at the credit card machine where they would discuss the best way of processing a particular credit card (while people were standing – including me and thinking DAMN this is slower than a government office!).

Then out of the back office there appeared two more agents and the processing got a little quicker (thank god at least they had a token system for the waiting people!). After about 40 minutes of standing around our turn finally came.

Moving to the desk I discovered to my horror that out of the three female staff members two had French manicured nails and were typing with just two fingers! Only one staff member had her nails down to normal length and using both hands to touch type.

So imagine the frustration of watching the lady input the passport details for both me and my wife using just two fingers.

The typing took so long that I almost got hypnotized watching those two manicured fingers click-clacking on the keyboard.

Then she looked up, smiled and said ‘You can collect the tickets from the cashier’. I went to the cashier expecting old fashioned tickets (you know the ones with that red carbon coating and all those magical codes).

But the cashier just handed me two printouts of the new e-tickets. That is what you call ‘irony’.

The Airtel Re-activation Saga

2010-12-11T18:15:00.003Z

The Appeal:

This is the story of how one man, with the help of a woman, managed to rescue his Airtel mobile connection from the menace of Permanent Disconnect.

The story starts when our hero lands in his hometown. Between struggling with hand luggage and observing the new airport terminal, he juggles with his cellphone, trying to get it working.
Soon the Immigration desks fell far behind and the phone was still refusing to connect to the Airtel network.
After the baggage collection was a distant memory, with the cell phone showing the dreaded words 'Limited Service', our hero resigned himself to a long journey home without his cellphone. Already the fear of a protracted struggle to get it restarted was growing within him as he sighted his home.
All the while our hero was struggling with the reason for the failure of the cell phone connection. He knew the cell connection had enough credit and it had been working 2-3 weeks ago when he had tested it.

Our hero was fully confused and disconnected. He could not tell anyone he was home! After several hours of struggling with the cell phone the hero decided to consult the Facebook Oracle to resolve the mystery of 'Limited Service'.
The Facebook Oracle advised our hero that he had not proven himself to Airtel. That is why his cell connection might have been 'temporarily disconnected'.

The very next day the hero with his fairy queen wife by his side strode into the local Airtel office to prove himself. He carried with him the papers of the land bearing the seals of Ruler.
The office was a hotbed of lethargy and every worker there was infused with the singular desire to do nothing. Using his Shield of Patience the hero managed to obtain the information from the staff about his connection. The Oracle was right. He would have to prove himself.
The office staff told him that he would have to prove himself not to them but to the Airtel high office in the deepest and darkest dungeons of the land, otherwise known as 'Nehru Place'.

The Application:
A new day dawned and the hero again set out with his fairy queen wife towards the Airtel high office. But minutes after entering 'Nehru Place' the hero and his fairy queen wife were lost. But the hero was lucky to find a Dungeon Troll, also known as a Delhi Police Constable, harassing the local population. The Dungeon Troll pointed the hero towards a different, smaller Airtel office instead of the one that the hero was seeking.

So the hero and his wife arrive at the small Airtel office. As the hero opens the door to the office waves of hot, stale air as if from a dragon's mouth assaults him. Luckily the hero is wearing his Aura of Armani. The fairy queen uses her magical hands to keep the door open to get rid of the hot air while the hero ventures forth into the office.

Within the office the hero finds two staff members flirting with each other. A sister seeking 'Activation' for her brother and father. A bored-to-death clerk busy counting bank notes. And between this quagmire of human emotions the hero manages to get his application accepted. While he is waiting the fairy queen, angered by the apparent suffering of the sister, unleashes a fireball of complaints at the zombie-like staff. They wither in front of her onslaught and quickly hide.

By then the hero receives the word that his proving has been successful but it will take 7 circles of the sun to get the connection restored.

Now what will our hero do. Will he wait 7 days or will he activate his magical powers?

The Wait:
But our hero is very resourceful and blessed with great friends. He approaches his friend who is a High Priest at Airtel. The High Priest promises to see what can be done to speed up the process. As the documents have already been submitted the hero sees no reason for the re-activation to take 7 days!

One day turns into two and then three days. On the third day he receives a happy message from Airtel saying 'All izzz well'. The hero swings into action and tries to make his first call to his fairy queen but the Airtel witch intercepts the call and informs the hero that he has 'insufficient balance to complete the call'.
Which is surprising because the office staff at Airtel had promised him that he would get all his balance from the previous re-charge sent to his connection after re-activation. Sure enough after using the magical spell of *123# the hero found that he had no credit!

But the hero knew that he better get a small recharge done so that at least he had a working cell connection.

Thus ends the Airtel Re-activation Saga, with the hero already preparing himself for the great Airtel Battle for Balance Transfer!

A Perfect Double Bill... Do Dooni Char and Aashayien

2010-11-24T23:31:00.002Z

It is rarely that I watch two new movies one after another. It is even rarer for me to enjoy both of them. So last week we sat down to watch Do Dooni Char (DDC) not planning to follow it up with any other movie. But the energy of DDC kindled this deep hunger within us to feast on another yummy movie. The movie we selected was Aashayien which lived up to its potential.

DDC is an amazing movie. I rate it a MUST WATCH especially for people who have lived for any length of time in Delhi. The movie feels like a Sunday brunch of aloo parantha and yoghurt (or a dinner of butter chicken and naan). Somehow they have managed to get the best out of Rishi Kapoor - Nitu Singh team and it is amazing to see how you start flowing with them in their day to day life.
It is a movie which combines the engaging story line of a serial like Nukkad with slick Bollywood production values.

Aashayien is another amazing movie. Completely different from the ordinary life of DDC. That is what makes the combination perfect. Imagine a Sunday brunch at home followed by a dinner at your favourite Italian place. Aashayien takes you far far away from the normalcy of daily life shown in DDC to a strange and difficult confrontation with death.
From challenges of daily life to challenges of a different magnitude.
Aashayein does take a bit of an open mind to go along with but it makes it all worth it. The movie tries not to dwell to much on the obvious and shows a new dimension in the struggle between life and death.

Go watch!

Then we saw Guzaarish two days later.
So from Sunday brunch to your favourite Italian to most exotic Central African cuisine.

Guzaarish: watch it at the theatre or forget about it. The story needs to be absorbed at all levels. The visuals/sets, music, atmosphere, acting, expressions are all very well put together. It does get a bit heavy in parts but these are thankfully short. Also you can say certain elements in the story stick out and prevent me from calling the movie a work of art. Kind of like putting up a cell phone tower on top of Taj Mahal.

Aakrosh (2010): Component-based Film Development At Its Best!

2010-09-24T12:31:00.003+01:00

What is the most important element in a movie? There are several candidates to choose from including the story, the script, the editing and the acting.
For me it is the story. If the story is entertaining enough it will keep people talking about the film.
I think that Bollywood is either running out of this magic ingredient or is becoming very smart and seeking stories from outside the usual settings we find (e.g. gangsters, young love, family sagas etc.). Such stories promote 're-use' and 'adaptation' and lead to creative new cinema. Kind of like mixing ingredients from different cuisines to come up with exotic flavours. One such example is We Are Family.
Another thing to appreciate is that we have started acknowledging the source of the story and declaring openly when stories have been lifted from other movies/sources instead of just copying and claiming credit for originality.
But there are times when this re-use is stretched beyond reason. It is ok to to re-use or adapt stories but certainly not lift it scene for scene even if you repackage story elements to give it an Indian feel.
Aakrosh is guilty of doing just this. They have lifted Mississippi Burning (1988) scene for scene.
They have cleverly re-packaged story elements to use news-worthy issues which makes the final product easier to sell.
So FBI from Mississippi Burning is the Special Investigation Team of the CBI, segregation in southern state of Mississippi in the 1960s is repackaged as honour killings in Haryana, race issue is repackaged as a religious issue, sheriff of a small town is converted to the local inspector in a small town and so on... I could write a new blog post just to map out the massive repackaging effort that is Aakrosh.
But that is not the end of it. They have actually lifted full scenes from Mississippi Burning (MB) including the camera angles, dialogs and situations. I have not even seen Aakrosh (as it has not been released yet) but I can tell you, from the trailor, what each scene means and what is the general flow of conversation.
Two examples:
1) Bips being beaten by her husband and landing in hospital - the whole scene that follows with the fight between Akshay Khanna and Ajay Devgn which ends in Akshay Khanna pulling out a revolver on Ajay Devgn.
2) The whole sequence where a witness is taken in with his identity hidden using a cardboard box.

So all in all Aakrosh is looking like a pasta dish with 'desi-laal mirch ka tadka'. If they have done it well then the movie would be more than watchable. Trust me I have had pasta dish with desi-tadka. It tastes yummy! But if they have just lifted MB then it is a movie best left unseen.

Oh and Mr Priyadarshan... at least acknowledge the fact that you have lifted the whole concept and entire scenes from MB!

;)

Finally the Capital gets an ENZYME!

2010-08-11T11:39:00.005+01:00

It may or may not be something to be proud of... today I found out that New Delhi, the capital of India has a enzyme named after it!
It is called the New Delhi-Metallo-1. The only problem is that this enzyme is not all that good for humans as it gives drug-resistance to bacteria!

It is causing a lot of worry (as usual) in UK and other European countries as the drug-resistance brought about by the enzyme means there are just 2 anti-biotics that are left for doctors to try and control the bacteria!

More here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1302035/NDM-1-Alert-unbeatable-superbug-spread-worldwide.html

I think it is our corrupt politicians and babus who probably have loads of this enzyme which makes them resistant to all forms of checks and balances. Also probably the bacteria bribed them to get the enzyme.

;)

Chuski - Freedom at Midnight!

2010-06-17T18:54:00.004+01:00

A common, after dinner plan, during the summer months, for people of Delhi is to have a cold and refreshing 'chuski' at India Gate.
Chuski is a lump of ice on a stick with flavoured syrup poured on top.

At India Gate every night, especially during the summer months, the air comes alive with the calls of chuski salesmen trying to attract customers.
The whole process of buying a chuski is very straight forward. Go pay (approx. 35/- per chuski as of June 2010) and get a token. Exchange token for the chuski.
The various flavours of syrup include:
- Kala Khatta (very famous flavour)
- Meetha (sweet)
- Khatta Meetha (sweet and sour)

You can get more syrup if you run out.

It was very good to see the people of India enjoying the warm weather and cold ice at the same spot where more than 60 years ago India gained its independence in the middle of the night.
It was good fun to see the place brimming with energy and life inspite of it being a weekday. Maybe it was the warm weather or something else that drives people to converge in the center of the city. Take a look around and you will find all kinds of people from all walks of life. Kids, teenagers, young couples, shouting policemen (trying to clear the VIP area of parked cars - after taking bribes), entire families stepping out of their brand new SUVs.

All in all being there are the middle of the night made me realise the power of India and the energy of its people. It is not a city which believes in switching off at 10pm!

Chuski Area:

Raajneeti - How to copy a classic and how to make babies..

2010-06-07T14:50:00.003+01:00

The movie is a straight through adaptation of the Mahabharata. That said I found Shyam Benegal's Kalyug to be a better adaptation.

It has some stellar acting by the masters (Nana Patekar, Manoj Bajpai and Ajay Devgn) leading to certain very powerful scenes (I am not talking about the steamy sex scenes which have been chopped off by the censor board). Overall the movie is a mix of brilliant and B-grade moments. Just that the brilliant moments are really 'brilliant' making this movie worth watching.

But as usual our movie makers keep forgetting the two cardinal rules of film making:

1) Use an interesting concept don't abuse it! Just because the idea is good doesn't mean it needs to be used over and over again.

2) Some questions are good! Not all threads in the story need to be tied up neatly before the movies end. Just make sure the questions are logical and not the resultant of bad editing or story.

The concept of Mahabharata has been used over and over again till the movies becomes predictable, especially for people who have seen the TV series.
In trying to weave a complex tapestry of a story they end up with a lot of knotted threads.
The movie should have been shorter and the editing definitely could have been better.
For example
- just before the interval we find that Prithvi (Arjun Rampal) has been released from the prison. Now that would have been a good point for the intermission. But no.. we see another short scene where the party leader in hospital throws throws Pritvi out of the party.
- out of nowhere Katrina Kaif suddenly finds a load of loving for Arjun Rampal. So from putting blanket over a sleeping Arjun Rampal, Katrina makes the leap to full blown sex with him in the span of a few scenes. I don't think even a Ferrari can do a 0-100kmph that fast!

There are also some really funny dialogs lifted right out of the Mahabharata TV series ('tum mere jeshth putra ho').

This is one of those movies which you can neither recommend nor ask people to stay away.
My advice: wait for the DVD or at least wait for the public interest to die, instead of sitting through it in a housefull theatre.

The Economics of Iced Tea...

2010-06-02T22:27:00.003+01:00

Location: Select City Walk, New Delhi

I had gone to Select City Walk (Saket) to do some shopping.
Since I love iced tea I thought I would treat myself to one from Barista. I went in and ordered the drink at the till. The guy replied '105 rupees sir'. My mouth dried up when I heard the cost!

Since I was on vacation I decided to shell out the money. But I went and stood near their counter as I wanted to observe what magical process they use to make a Rs. 105iced tea.

Well the process was dead easy:
- Take a cheap plastic 'glass'.
- Squeeze a bit of lemon juice from a plastic bottle.
- Squeeze a bit of sugar syrup from a plastic bottle.
- Fill the glass ALL the way up with ice (yeah! ice is cheap and takes up a lot of room!).
- Add some black tea.

I can bet the whole thing didn't cost Barista more than 10 rupees.

What I did end up paying for was the staff which didn't serve me all that much, the cool furniture which I didn't sit on, the air-conditioning which I did not take any advantage off and some board games which I had no one to play with! Oh and let us not forget: the Barista logo on that cheap plastic glass.

Photographed by Google!

2010-04-28T09:04:00.004+01:00

In 2008 I posted a few pictures of the Google car taking pictures for the 'street view' feature.
Yesterday I checked the street view (on Google Maps) for the area where I had photographed the car and I was surprised to find my picture taken by the Google car!

Here is me walking down the road as the Google car takes my pic:

Going for the CHERRY...

2010-04-14T12:23:00.004+01:00

I saw the above ad for a mobile phone in Times Of India (14/04/10). I am sure it breaks quite a few intellectual property laws. ;)
I wonder what blackBERRY have to say about this?

All that aside it just shows how easy it is to buy a 'smartphone' in India!

;)

Hence Proved ;)

2010-04-14T00:05:00.002+01:00

ABC: u see gals dont have sense
-

XYZ: whatever ABC
I am fed up of hearing this for the past 7 years
u truely need to come up with something better
-

ABC: well facts do become boring after a while
-

XYZ: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
-

ABC: i mean would you get excited if someone told you that the earth is round
-

XYZ: who cares man
if earth is round
-

ABC: hahahah seeee
-

The Blind Side (2009)

2010-04-12T01:43:00.003+01:00

The Blind Side
After watching this movie there was just one thought in my head:
Why are all the Oscar winning movies so amazing and why are all the Filmfare Award winning movies so random and stupid?
One thing is quite clear, the Oscars do not care about how much money a movie makes. It is a shame the same cannot be said about the largest film industry in the world (Bollywood).
The Blind Side is a beautiful movie. Very well directed and very smooth. Even though it deals with some heavy issues it makes sure to give a balanced view. The movie is based on actual events and all the characters shown in the movie are real.
Won't reveal more about the movie. Will just say go and watch it. Amazing performance by Sandra Bullock, she deserved the Oscar for this.

Love, Sex Aur Dhokha (LSD)

2010-04-08T15:37:00.002+01:00

Love, Sex Aur Dhokha (LSD) (2010)
You will love this movie.
This is a very different breed of movie coming out of the Bollywood stables. The reason for that is that LSD written and directed by Dibakar Banerjee (DB) who is known for movies with very different concepts (e.g. 'Khosla Ka Ghosla' and 'Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye').
I won't spoil the story by dissecting the movie and will just say WATCH IT!
With this movie DB has opened up a new area for Bollywood to explore. Oh and whoever says that this movie is based on 'DPS RKP mms episode' is stupid.
;)

Shutter Island - a psychological thriller done right

2010-04-08T15:26:00.003+01:00

Shutter Island (2010)
The movie is an excellent psychological thriller directed by Martin Scorcese (who also directed 'The Departed'). Amazing movie, amazing atmosphere and amazing actors (mainly Leonardo di Caprio) makes this movie... well amazing. Make sure you catch this on the big screen. If you can't for some reason and end up watching it at home then make sure you switch off the mobile because this is a one sitting movie.
One word of warning though: this movie will only draw you in if you are bit patient. During certain parts (especially in the first half) the movie can get a bit slow. But sure enough your patience will be rewarded in the second half of the movie.
The people who made Karthik Calling Karthik should have read the book 'Shutter Island' is based on before starting. It would have taught them how to create an atmosphere and that IT IS ALL RIGHT TO LEAVE THE AUDIENCE WITH QUESTIONS! In fact it encourages the audience to watch the movie again.
Or maybe they should have just gone ahead and asked Martin Scorcese to direct the movie.
;)

Kathik Calling Karthik - beware of your telephone instrument!

2010-04-04T01:00:00.003+01:00

This was one movie where my expectations were low to start with (mainly because I managed to guess the central plot after the first scene) but increased after the first 30 minutes or so.
Mainstream Hindi movies have this nasty habit of wanting to answer all questions and leave nothing to the imagination even if that requires them to kill an interesting story.
This movie suffers from the same problem. By the time the movie was about 80% complete there were so many questions floating around I KNEW that they would need something to quickly wrap up the movie. In fact that is exactly what happened.
One did not expect such a tame ending where the movie wraps up in about 20 mins (time it if you want!).
The only message of the movie is 'make sure you are aware of all the features of your telephone'.
;)

Rann (2010) - A real fairy tale...

2010-02-20T03:26:00.002Z

The movie is good even though the plot is a simple one of good guys win and bad guys loose. Excellent acting by some big names and crisp implementation of the above mentioned simple plot mixed with some good camera work (fisheye lens and floating cams - hallmark of Ramu) and posh locations makes Rann a nice, entertaining movie.

For those who were expecting connections with reality or any kind of realistic coverage of the play between politics and media... they should go watch Page 3. For people expecting to see the industry-politics game being played... they should go watch Corporate. This is nowhere close to a Madhur Bhandarkar movie.

Why? Because Rann does not do justice to the complex and floating reality of this game. Rann starts out in the grey area, connecting with several 'real' events, but soon the black and white squares are clearly visible. You can easily label the good and bad guys unlike in the real world where it is very difficult to do the same in the political arena.

In any kind of big scam, sting operation or scandel no one has the complete information. No one can be painted black or white. Most times media is the one responsible for creating this grey area.

While Rann makes several important points about media and how it is used and abused, it is in no way a ground breaking movie. Still watch it! I guarantee you won't be bored.

My Name is Khan... Rizwan Khan and I am Autistic!

2010-02-18T00:38:00.005Z

The movie has done four very important things:
1) Introduced autism to the Indian audience.
2) Shown the America outside the glitzy cities.
3) Managed to bring together foreign and Indian actors seamlessly.
4) Shown the future of Indian cinema - collaboration with foreign studios.

This movie is a rough diamond. It has various bits going for it. The fact that it shows life in suburban America as well as in the smaller towns of the American south. Most Bollywood movies restrict themselves to big cities, typically shooting few critical scenes on location and finishing the rest in Mumbai.
Also the interaction between foreign and Indian actors is amazingly seamless. It must be a first for any movie coming out of a main-stream big budget production house. Maybe the reason for that is the fact that majority of the cast is foreign. The 'friends' do not feel pasted on.
Even though I found it hard to feel the much touted chemistry between Kajol and SRK, I could feel some kind of a chemistry between SRK and his neighbours.
Maybe this is the magic of collaborating with 20th Century Fox?

The Muslim and post 9/11 angle is about 3-4 years too late. Certain elements of the movie seem to be inserted for no reason and they do not really add anything to the story line (for e.g. long shots of SRK walking in the middle of nowhere - maybe he was searching for the US President under a rock in the desert?- and the stabbing scene).
The character of Rizwan Khan need not have been autistic. It would have been more of a challenge to show a mentally 'normal' Muslim male trying to do all this. In many parts of the movie being autistic gets him off the hook or gets him additional sympathy. Also as they say a disability or a disadvantage is a sure way of winning the audience.

The result is Mr Rizwan Khan comes out looking like a bad mix of James Bond and Mahatma Gandhi.

All in all worth watching once if you can sit through wave after wave of emotional scenes (trying to get a response from the audience) and long speeches by SRK . If nothing else watch this movie to see where Indian cinema is heading.

Oh and please don't look for 'logic' in the movie... after all this IS a Karan Johar movie and you know what they say about a dog and its tail.

3 Idiots: Down the memory lane without a map or GPS.

2010-01-01T22:33:00.002Z

Sadly the movie does not have the Amir Khan stamp of a different or trendsetting movie.
In fact, while it may have a lot of college-level humor to attract the masses and some well tested plot elements, it does not live up to the hype that was generated around it.
This movie has been made using a standard recipe and Chef Azahar Machwe is here to teach the very same to you:
The 3-Idiots Curry
Ingredients:
1 Large helping of Munnabhai MBBS
1 Medium helping of Taare Zameen Par
1 Small helping of Dil Chahta Hai
Corporate endorsements - add to taste.

Recipe:
Take a large helping of Munnabhai MBBS (including copy - pasting characters and actors e.g. Boman Irani as a quirky head) and mix it properly with a medium helping of Taare Zameen Par (take a tried and tested concept and extend it a bit).

Then add a small sprinkling of Dil Chahta Hai (to give that 'coming of age' feeling to the movie).

Add corporate endorsements to taste (Reliance, Airtel, Millionaire Stores, Volvo etc. - remember more endorsements better the taste!).

Cook the mixture in the intense heat of a pre-launch media blitz till it is surrounded by lots of 'hype'.

Serve with a splash of cheap pan shop humour and a dash of spice (Kareena Kapoor).

Before eating:
Remove all the hype from the dish and DIG IN.. oh and don't forget a big bottle of whichever cold drink Amir Khan is endorsing these days, to wash down the mess!

After eating:
Feel satisfied that at least this movie was not half as bad as some of the other time-wasters of 2009 (e.g.: Kurbaan, Kambakht Ishq, Blue etc.).

:)

Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani - Fabulously Confusing Movie

2009-12-23T11:32:00.002Z

Here is a movie that could be used by the Info. & Broadcasting Ministry to showcase National Integration.
We have a Muslim actor (non-sexist term), Kartina Kaif, playing a Christian girl who falls for a Hindu guy.
Other than that it is difficult to find anything positive about this movie. Other than that this movie does live up to its name, there are lot of 'ajeeb' or strange moments where you are left scratching your head and thinking what a 'gazab ki' kahani.
The movie, for me, spikes like an ECG of a person suffering a heart attack. There are some positive moments (like the scene where the hero unites two lovers). Then there are some stupid and crude moments (like the scene where Tony's father threatens heroin with rape) which seem to have been inserted just to get a reaction.
They tried to make a truly 'gazab' movie but got confused along the way and ended up somewhere in between.

All in all watch this with your brain switched off. Ideal movie after a hard day at work or when you just want to stare at a moving picture and rest your eyes on KK.

:)

BBC Weather Forecast

2009-12-21T00:28:00.005Z

I thought BBC's UK weather forecast was really accurate!

Take a look at the screenshot of the BBC weather website at 12:20am on 21st December:

It shows the forcast for Bristol for the time....

While at that time outside the condition was:

So it shows the accuracy of the BBC forecast and/or the fickle nature of UK weather.

Also 21st December is the shortest day of the year... the official start of winter! Seems if the start is such, the middle and end should be MOST AMAZING!

Wake Up Sid! (Yawn)

2009-10-04T01:46:00.005+01:00

I think the title of the movie says it all. If you don't find yourself nodding off in between the movie then you have the concentration of a tiger stalking its prey!
The movies tries to show the hero growing up and out of a comfortable and rich 'spoilt brat' role into an all round 'MAN' who is worth the heroin's respect.
Sadly only two things grow in the movie:
1) The cast of characters.
2) The sheer stupidity of the story.
Ranbir K. surely did not have to prepare all that much for this role because he played a similar Playstation playing 'bad-boy', in Bachna Aye Hasino (BAH), who is taught a lesson about life and responsibility by a girl. As he learns the lessons of life he revisits the significant people from his past whom he had wronged.
This is exactly the same thing that happens in Wake Up Sid (WUS).

There are several major holes in the movie. While BAH had loads of eye-candy and amazing locations to distract the audience from the lack of an interesting plot, WUS does not enjoy any such protection.
Somehow there is little or no change in the hero's lifestyle as he learns the lessons of life. He is able to afford vodka shots and regular nightouts in trendy places on an intern's salary. He still travels around in auto-rickshaws. He continues to wear designer clothes and sport a funky look which remains unchanged for most of the film.
Along with all this the heroin is able to 'support' him on an personal assitants salary!
Kashmira Shah adds a bit of much needed variety to the movie along with Supria Pathak without actually making the movie interesting.

Oh and one more thing... Rahul Khanna really needs to get some new type of roles. I have had enough of him playing the 'cute' and 'successful' guy who gets dumped (for e.g. Love Aaj Kal)!

Sleeping is better than watching this movie!

Sounds of Silence

2009-09-23T00:28:00.002+01:00

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

- Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel
An amazing song... how true it is 'the neon gods we make'.
Yesterday I saw an advert on the TV for a 'cash for gold' service where you send in your unwanted gold by post for evaluation and if you are happy with the amount they will send you the money.

Basically it is an easy way of converting gold into cash.
What would you spend this cash on? The examples they give are a holiday, downpayment on a new car and a flat screen TV.

This seems to me another way of attaching importance to objects. Converting an appreciating asset to a depreciating one even as the sign flashes its warning.
On the other side one can see the clear practicality in this brand new world where cash is king and the hitlist of desires grows silently like a cancer till it consumes our thoughts.

Good luck to us as we seek the sounds of silence by increasing the noise!

Conversations between the opposite sex!

2009-09-03T22:30:00.002+01:00

Woman (to Man): Till date I have not heard one intelligent thing coming out of your mouth.
Man replies: If I had intelligence would I be with you?

- - - -

Woman (to Man while shopping): Will this dress look good on me?
Man replies for the first time: Yes looks good! Buy it!
Woman (to Man while shopping, for a different dress): DoesTHIS dress look good on me?
Man replies for the second time: Yes LOOKS GOOD! Why don't you BUY IT?
Woman (to Man, for the 100th dress): Umm.. does this dress look good on me?
Man replies for the 100th time: JUST BUY THE DAMN THING ALREADY!

- - - -

Woman (to Man): I think I need new clothes.
Man: OK lets go shopping!
[6 hours later the Man is hungry, tired and close to collapse after following the Woman around the shopping mall]
Woman (cheerfully): Looks like I have finished my shopping!
Man (suddenly feeling energised): Oh GREAT let us head home then!
Woman: Umm.. wait I think you also need new clothes!
The Man faints.

:D

Shaayari

2009-08-19T22:24:00.002+01:00

Main aaya teri gali mein,
paaan chabate hue.
Tune maari sandal,
aankh dikhaate hue.

- Azahar Machwe ;)

The Magic of Microsoft

2009-06-26T23:11:00.006+01:00

I was scanning the 'world famous' duty-free at Heathrow Terminal 3 some time ago and I came across a rather strange advertisement (see the image below).

As I was trying to figure out what kind of an ad was this suddenly I realised I had seen this 'ad' before. I just needed to tilt my head a bit (see below!).
Yes! It was NOT an ad. It was a login screen for windows XP. Probably the OS in the contoller for that particular display had crashed and then automatically re-booted. Just that no one realised that once re-booted it would ask the 'user' to login before resuming the standard operation of displaying ads.

I thanked god for limiting Microsoft (MS) software to the airport duty free ad-displays. Imagine if the ticket booking system or the software on-board the plane used MS software!

Alton Towers

2009-04-14T00:23:00.005+01:00

Alton Towers Map (April 2009):

(map image courtesy Vibha Gupta)

Alton Towers is an amusement park near Stoke-on-Trent (Postcode: ST10 4DB Website: Family Fun at Theme Park - Alton Towers Resort)

It has a long list of rides divided into different zones or areas. Some of the main attractions include ‘Oblivion’ – the world’s first vertical drop roller-coaster and Air – the world’s first B&M ‘flying’ roller-coaster.

The place is perfect for both groups and singles, bachelors (like myself) and families. It has wide variety of rides for all age groups. It also has other attractions like a water park and sea-life exhibition. So if you get bored of really fast and furious rides (or your stomach can’t take the twists & turns and your legs can’t take waiting in line for 30mins and more) then you can cool off in some of the gentler rides (like Congo River Ride or The Flume) or go and check out the exhibitions and shows.

(Storybook Land image courtesy Vibha Gupta)

The variety: from 'Storybook Land' above to 'Oblivion' below.

(Oblivion image copyright 2009 Azahar Machwe)

Most of the rides have three different lines:

- Group line

- Singles line

- Fast-track line

Fast-track line costs extra and might be a good option for people who don’t want to wait at all. They get first boarding.

If you don’t want your group to be split when boarding a ride then you can go into the group line which usually means long wait (in the main rides about 30-40 minutes). I would recommend this line even if you are going in a group!

If you don’t mind your group being split then go into the singles ride. The wait is shorter (by about 50%) but you may not board the ride with other members of your group. This line gets the least priority.

The ticket price includes all group and single line admissions.

As soon as you enter the park you will see an information display telling you the wait time for most rides and if they are working or not. The day we went Rita – the super-fast roller-coaster, was closed. Don’t worry! Go in the singles line!

Very important thing to note is that there will be a lot of walking involved! So wear comfortable shoes!

At the end of each ride you can view your photograph (taken at a selected point during the ride) and you can buy it if you like the picture! The only problem is that the pictures are quite expensive!

Don’t wear any loose jewellery and remove your spectacles especially before any of the rollercoaster rides. You don’t want you glasses flying off in the middle of a ride!

All rides have storage lockers (use at your own risk!) which you can use to keep your bags etc. before the ride. These are generally safe.

Take food from home as everything is quite expensive there and there is not a lot of variety at the lower end of the spectrum especially for vegetarians.

The four must-do rides are:

1) Oblivion

2) Air

3) Nemesis

4) Rita

The only problem is if you do these rides in a span of one day by the end of it you will be fed up of all the rocking and rolling! Kind of like ‘roller-coaster saturation’. More information on these rides can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alton_Towers

Oblivion and Air are two unique rides. Oblivion basically drops you face down a dark hole and Air flies you around on your back! These two are SUPER MUST-DO rides.

Enjoy!

Dev-d Beyond the Shock!

2009-04-04T02:51:00.001+01:00

Like most people after watching Dev-d for the first time I felt it was a great, even amazing, movie! But after the shock (certainly wasn’t expecting a movie like this from the Bollywood stable) wore off I felt that the movie is not that good.

After watching the movie a second time I realised what a big fool they are trying to make of the audience.

Not that good at all.

For someone not exposed to foreign movies it is a shock. A shock to hear the kind of language they have shown. Shocked to see the kind of things shown. But in the end we find the director has picked up things from Hollywood… the smart prostitute (Pretty Woman?), down on his luck hero bent on self-destruction (shown in SO many Hollywood movies).

The file does break the mould of traditional Bollywood where the hero either dies running after the girl or gets the girl and lives happily ever after. Hollywood has been doing this for years though!

Is it a take on Devdas? No way! Devdas was about a hero bent on self-destruction. Here we have a rich dude, living off his father’s money, doping and drinking. What is so great in that?

We also find our rich, spoilt brat doing a bike tour of few hill stations (in a span of 10 minutes no less!). Then the ‘hero’ wimps out and heads back to Delhi! The hero magically gets a BMW which leads to the next part of the story (based on real life cases – HINT! HINT!).

The story gets lost after a while. The problem is that with the title the director committed himself to a theme. But mid-way I think the director realised that there was nothing much he could do different with the movie. Where is the similarity with Devdas I ask? If it is just the presence of a ‘true love’ and a prostitute well then half the movies should be called Dev-d!

I would say that the director is nearly there with this movie but other than crap language and attitude this movie has little of substance.

This movie is going to be a hit with people interested in smut or the attitude. Don’t look for a story here or any connection with Devdas.

On second thoughts I feel as if Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s version of Devdas should not be compared to this. Dev-d is trying to be Devdas while trying to grab the attention of the youth of India.

Watch this movie. So that you know what to look for in a movie of substance (which are the missing bits of the movie!).

13B (2009) – A Bollywood Horror Flick WORTH Watching

2009-03-31T12:46:00.001+01:00

After a very long time has Bollywood given us a horror movie worth watching! The story is pretty interesting and the way the film is made is very different.

The only problem with the story is the very last scene which seemed a bit silly given that the rest of the movie was well put-together.

This one is not a serious horror flick since it has a feel of a murder mystery. So you will not find any ‘ghosts’ (actors with funny makeup) or funny camera zooms or any of the other non-sense.

Without giving anything away I would recommend watch this movie without reading the reviews.

Gran Torino – From concrete to your heart!

2009-03-18T21:01:00.001Z

Gran Torino (starring Clint Eastwood) is one of the most amazing movies I have ever seen.

It reflects the realities of life as it does the thoughts of a man who wants to be left alone at the same time is interested in the world around him. It shows how he fights against the system as well as tries to fit into it.

The movie starts quite normally but then as new characters enter the story we see how the central character (Clint Eastwood) reacts to the changes (sometimes positively sometimes negatively).

As the central character grows so does the secondary character of Thao.

The end of the movie has a strange duality to it. It is unique at the same time follows an age old theme.The only issue I have with the movie is the very last scene where the story goes down the well travelled path right after giving the audience a very different look at things.

Confused? Good. Won’t give out more details. Go watch the movie!

This is a battle that you might be fighting 20, 30 or even 40 years down the line!

Clint Eastwood is as usual amazing!

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

2009-02-18T21:21:00.002Z

This is a cute movie with lots of cute Chihuahuas. Animation is decent and the story is pretty simple.
All in all a nice movie for when you want to relax and just put your brain in neutral.
Enjoy the movie!

Luck By Chance - A Movie By Chance

2009-02-10T00:02:00.002Z

Saw Luck By Chance recently. Was not as impressed by it as I had hoped to be. The movie starts out nicely highlighting the 'tricks' of the film trade but then becomes something between 'Life in a Metro' and 'Page 3'.

Konkona Sen, in the movie, refuses a role to prevent type-casting (where she is type-cast). But in real life she has been unable to avoid it. In so many movies we find her going for guys who are either gay or unfaithful or both (see 'Page 3'). Same goes for Luck By Chance.

Dimple Kapadia, Rishi Kapoor and Juhi Chawla have given excellent performances as expected. Hritik Roshan, according to me, is the hero of the movie. He has acted well and I especially like the scene where he puts his face against the window of his car and some street-kids put their face against the same window from the other side. The only thing separating them is a thin pane of glass. It shows that life on the two sides of the glass is very different!

I think it mirrors the relationship between actors and their audience where the glass is the movie screen. Life behind the screen and in front of it is often very different and the view we get can often be distorted.

Go watch this movie, it is different. I am sure you already have seen it!

Amal - A very different movie!

2009-02-06T01:05:00.003Z

I recently saw a movie named Amal. I am sure very few people know about this movie.
It is a very different movie set in Delhi. The main actors include Seema Biswas, Naseeruddin Shah, Roshan Seth and Koel Purie. Naseeruddin Shah has a small but significant role in the movie.

The movie is heavily grounded in reality. So much so that one feels like screaming for something remotely 'movie-like'.

I guess that is why I really liked this movie. This movie is a success because it manages to involve the audience at an emotional level. The movie left me with an empty feeling like the kind you get when you haven't eaten your dinner properly. It left me wanting more.

It also left me smiling at 'life' and how things turn out right even when they are so clearly wrong.

Won't go into the details of the story but will just say: Amazing movie, refreshing story, a must watch!

There were few bad things about this movie. Koel Purie is not the best actress in the world and even though she has done decent work, I believe they could have picked a better actress to do this role. On the whole the movie could have been made a bit longer and a bit more fulfilling. As I said it leave you wanting more.

Seven Pounds - Heavy movie but worth a watch!

2009-01-25T00:45:00.003Z

Seven Pounds is a new Will Smith movie. Will not go into the details of the story since that would spoil the movie.

The movie is quite heavy and good for people who like to cry in the movies.
In fact this movie, from start to end, has people crying and weeping therefore the audience is bound to do the same.

The movie talks about how the actions of one man bring great changes in the life of total strangers. It is an interesting concept which brings together different people and their lives, united by one thread. What this thread is, that is what the movie is about.

I was somehow able to guess the story after watching the movie for 5 minutes.

The story is simple and somehow towards the end seems to drag a bit. A simple story is a double edged sword. While it makes it easy to develop the characters it makes it difficult to keep the attention of the audience.

Watch this movie. Cry if you feel like. Go to sleep in between if you want or play with your PSP if you want. The only reason I wasn't that touched with the movie was because it was a movie. It is easy to act but how a person would behave in real life is difficult to judge.

:)

Slumdog Millionaire - Why??

2009-01-14T20:12:00.000Z

This movie is doing very well around the world, especially in UK and USA. It has already won quite a few awards (such as the Golden Globe Award). I saw this movie knowing how well it was doing. Therefore there was bit of anticipation. Since this movie talks about the life of a child growing up in the slums I was expecting a bit of stupidity as well.

The movie started very very nicely. I liked the concept of linking questions with the boys life. If we divide the movie into three parts, each part representing one stage in the life of the boy (childhood, teenage and adult) then the first part is amazing. But second and third parts are equally dissappointing. In fact when I finished watching the movie I coulnd't understand why it was winning all these awards?

The first part has the kids speaking hindi and innovative subtitles. But in the second and third parts of the movie kids start speaking english with a British accent. They definitely do not look malnurished or that they have any connection with slums.

As the movie progresses it looses touch with reality and in the end is almost like a standard Hindi movie where hero beats the bad guy and gets his girl and the money!

It seems as if after making the first part the producers realised if they made the whole movie in Hindi with English sub-titles they will loose their target audience. Furthermore taking it away from 'real life' ensured that their target audience is not bored by 'another movie about hardships of life in Mumbai'.

All in all it is a one time watch. Nothing great. The in-film music/OST is quite good. Especially the song 'Paper planes' by M.I.A. which plays in the background when they are travelling around India on train.

:)

I don't want to set the world on fire - Horace Heidt (The Ink Spots)

2008-12-30T03:34:00.001Z

I DON'T WANT TO SET THE WORLD ON FIRE
Horace Heidt
words and music by Eddie Seiler, Sol Marcus, Bennie Benjamin and Eddie Durham

I don't want to set the world on fire
I just want to start
A flame in your heart

In my heart I have but one desire
And that one is you
No other will do

I've lost all ambition for worldly acclaim
I just want to be the one you love
And with your admission that you feel the same
I'll have reached the goal I'm dreaming of

Believe me!
I don't want to set the world on fire
I just want to start
A flame in your heart

Sorry Bhai

2008-12-27T03:12:00.003Z

The reason this movie is called Sorry Bhai is because the producers wanted to apologise in advance for making such a stupid movie which wastes your time.
A friend of mine, who liked the movie, told me that this movie makes you think. I agree 100%. It made me think why I watched this movie!
It is a totally stupid picture where the story is created in such a way so as to create some suspense. But it is done in a very rough and crude way. Not an elegant story at all.

Final word - pointless movie and a total waste of time. Read a book instead or better yet go take a nap!

Strawberry Chocolate Martini

2008-12-19T01:06:00.002Z

Above is a picture of Strawberry Chocolate Martini, the recipe can be found here.

Would recommend everyone should try it once!

Devotchka - How It Ends

2008-12-15T08:30:00.003Z

Devotchka - How It Ends

Lyrics:
Hold your grandmother's bible to your breast
Gonna put it to the test
You wanted it to be blessed
And in your heart
You know it to be true
You know what you gotta do
They all depend on you

And you already know
Yet you already know
How this will end

There is no escape
From the slave catcher's songs
For all of the loved ones gone
Forever's not so long
And in your soul
They poked a million holes
But you never let them show
Come on its time to go

And you already know
Yet you already know
How this will end

Now you've seen his face
And you know that there's a place in the sun
For all that you've done
For you and your children
No longer shall you need
You always wanted to believe
Just ask and you'll receive
Beyond your wildest dreams

And you already know
Yet you already know
How this will end

You already know (You already know)
You already know (You already know)
You already knowHow this will end

E.M.I. - predictable but fun...

2008-12-04T07:56:00.003Z

E.M.I. is one movie which I was not sure whether I wanted to see or not. I thought it would be same old Bollywood stupidity. Just out of curiosity I watched the movie since on the face of it at least the theme appeared different and it had few decent actors (Urmila and Sanjay Dutt).

In the end I ended up enjoying the movie. The story was, if not 100% based on real life, at least kept real life in sight. I was not whisked away to a foreign land to see our actors dancing around and pretending to be super-cool US ishtyle.

The movie has four parallel stories where the central factor is, as you must have already guessed, people taking loans. All the stories are believable and could happen to any of us.

Over all, without giving away too much of the story, I enjoyed Sanjay Dutts acting but he tries to do a Munna-bhai in this movie which doesn't work. It makes the ending seem rushed as he solves all their problems in last 40 mins of the movie. But maybe they wanted a feel-good movie. Mostly people go to movie to forget the real world for some time. One surely doesn't want to frustrate the audience by exposing them to reality throughout the movie.

Where the movie does go wrong is in the choice of actors. Arjun Rampal was surely the worst possible choice for his role. He is bit one dimensional in this movie. I am sure if the roles were better matched the movie would be even more hard-hitting.

On the whole I enjoyed the movie. More than anything I liked the practical message of the movie which is explicitly stated towards the end of the movie:

'Take loans but with caution'

After all we don't want India and Indian people to be burdened with credit nor do we want the banks to be burdened with bad-credit which would lead to a desi 'credit-crunch' of massive proportions.

Hulla - A Light in the Darkness

2008-12-03T16:22:00.003Z

I recently had the pleasure of watching 'Hulla'. The movie came highly recommended so I was looking forward to watch it. I started the movie just before going off to sleep just to fill in the 20-30 minutes before bedtime but I had a tough time getting away from the movie. If I hadn't been really sleepy I would have probably finished the movie then and there.
The movie involved me in its simple and down-to-earth story line almost immediately.
The story line is very simple and straight forward. This story could be your story. After a very long time am I seeing a movie which highlights life in the real world.
I will not reveal the story line (although the name of the movie should give a clue).

I will just say watch this movie!

How to categorise the movie... well it is not a comedy and it is not a serious movie. I would call it a dark comedy. The music is also excellent (it is by Indian Ocean).

Phoonk - I need some AIR!

2008-11-27T00:29:00.003Z

Today I saw Phoonk (a horror movie by Ram Gopal Verma). Reportedly he had issued a challenge to give anyone who would watch the whole movie alone in a theatre a prize of rupees one lakh.
I am sure he issued that challenge because he was sure no one would be able to see it that way. Not because it is a good horror story that leaves looking over your shoulders weeks after the movie. But because it is such a slow and predictable movie that you would die of boredom if you saw it alone. After the first ten minutes I wanted to forward the movie to its last scene.
The story has been copied from Geherayee (an EXCELLENT hindi horror movie) and Ram Gopal Verma's Raat (another EXCELLENT hindi horror movie) which shows an age old struggle between superstition and science.

The actors have all done average work (especially since they didnt have much of a story to go by). But the characterization has been done quite badly. The grandmother keeps shaking her head like a spring loaded car-toy trying to simulate a muscle spasm. I am sure she would have had a neck sprain with all that head shaking.

The good 'tantrik' has a facial expression which is a combination of a man suffering from intense constipation and a man having the best sex of his life. Weird but true!

The only thing positive about the movie is that the special effects were good. Not excellent but much better than the cartoon-like special effects usually seen in Hindi movies.

What to do?

2008-11-24T18:10:00.002Z

Confused signage... these signs were painted by DLF in GK-2 outside their construction area. Don't know whether they want people to park or not!

;)

Dasvidanya - The best way to say Goodbye!

2008-11-24T14:36:00.005Z

Dasvidanya is an amaazing Hindi movie even though the concept is not original (English movies like The Bucket List have similar concepts). The movie is not unique as such but it does give out a very important message. Watch the movie for its message not for the story.

People crib and complain about things not being right in life. People wait for things to be perfect. All the while they make the same mistakes and change nothing about themselves. They will continue to live within themselves.

It takes the waking call of death to push people ahead and out of their shell. As they say people appreciate things when they no longer have them.

The acting is pretty straight forward (like the story). Still the movie manages to surprise you. Go ahead and watch this movie. Better yet.. go ahead and take the lesson this movie tries to give.

Copy-cat Marketing...

2008-11-23T19:12:00.002Z

Vodafone Tuesdays - http://www.vodafone.in/existingusers/Pages/privileges.aspx

Vodafone Tuesdays is a buy one get one free offer for all Vodafone customers on Tuesdays at selected outlets. Therefore on Tuesday in selected multiplexes you can buy one ticket and get the other one for free if you are a Vodafone Customer in Mumbai, India. This offer is slowly being rolled out to other cities as well.

Orange Wednesdays - http://www.orange.co.uk/film/orange_wednesdays.htm

Similar offer from Orange for cinema tickets on Wednesday. This is valid only in UK.

This is what I call copy-cat marketing! Pick a concept from your competition in UK and apply it in India! Just change the day and the scope of the offer!

Sales!

2008-11-05T06:10:00.001Z

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.

Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes it is," the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks," the man replies.
"I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.
"OK. How much?" the man replies after considering the position he is in.

"Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.
"TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats incredulously, but complies to protect his hidden position.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.
"It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.
"Yes it is," replies the man.
"Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.
"OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.
"Fifty dollars," the boy replies and the transaction is completed..

The next weekend, the little boy's father says "Hey, son.
Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."
"I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.
"How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear
the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
"Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.
"SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness", the father explains as he hauls the child away.

At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

"Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.

India-Australia Delhi Test

2008-11-01T18:23:00.006Z

India is hosting Australia for a four test series. The third test was in Delhi at the Feroz Shah Kotla ground. Went to see the match on the 2nd day. It was an amazing day. Warm and bright with a slight breeze. Just enough to make one feel comfortable.

This would also turn out to be the last time Anil Kumble comes out to bat for India in a test match.

The day saw two double hundreds (Gautam Gambhir and V.V.S. Laxman), India reaching a score of 600+ and Kumble reaching a career total of 2500 runs.

Here are some pictures:

India reaches 500.

India declares at 613 after Laxman gets his 200!

Laxman gets his 200!

Gambhir gets his 200!

The Tickets.

India reaches 600.

Chanas wrapped in court judgements.

Details of the court judgement.

The chaos behind the stadium.

Indian Soap Operas Invade France

2008-10-14T12:51:00.007+01:00

The other day I was browsing through few TV channels when my eyes fell on a notice being shown on Zee TV (UK).

It said something like:

The following program features subtitles in English and French press 888
for English and 889 for French.

Obviously I was curious as to which programs shown on Zee TV feature French subtitles.

To my utter surprise the program which followed this notice was a Saas-Bahu soap opera called 'Kasam se'.

It was good to know that Indian soap operas have crossed the language barrier and are now in the process of invading continental Europe.

I did a bit of Googling and this is what I came up with:

In addition to English subtitles, ZEE TV is also giving its viewers access to
French subtitles, for the first time.
To use the facility, viewers will need to press “888″ for English subtitles and “889″ for French subtitles on ZEE’s analogue teletext. To make use of the subtitles on Sky Digital, viewers can press the “Help” button and then select “On”, which will turn on the subtitles.

The full article can be found here.

I wonder what is next?

Maybe Chinese subtitles for Saas-Bahu Serials to tap the worlds largest audience?

I am sure Ekta Kapoor is already planning an international soap opera. I think all the soap stars must be getting bored of shooting in Lonavala and Khandala!

Finally: who needs nuclear bombs when you have scheming Indian mother-in-laws and intelligent Indian daughter-in-laws to unleash at your neighbours.

Najane Kyon from Spiderman 2 Soundtrack

2008-10-13T02:23:00.003+01:00

One of my favourite songs Najane Kyon by Strings.

This song is a part of the Spiderman 2 soundtrack. I love the part of the movie where Spiderman stops the train with his web. Special effects in this movie rock!

Enjoy!

Men are so "S............"

2008-09-20T17:30:00.000+01:00

A: Men are so "S.........."

Me: hahahahaha obv ... otherwise why would they fall for girls

The Secret of a Happy Marriage...

2008-09-18T17:30:00.002+01:00

Today I got some excellent advice from someone who has a lot of life experience....

For a happy marriage you need:

A woman who is caring
A woman who can cook well
A woman who has patience
A woman who is 'experienced'
A woman who likes cleaning stuff

and MOST IMPORTANTLY

For the above mentioned women to be unaware of each others existence.....

Not the best address in Bristol

2008-09-16T21:50:00.001+01:00

This is surely not the best address to have in Bristol. It is also a good example of creative paint work.

Understanding Women....

2008-09-05T21:23:00.002+01:00

In my continuing effort to try and understand women I thought I would explore their shopping habits.

Let us look at a typical shopping scenario where a girl goes shopping with her boyfriend (or for that matter any other close male friend).

So it goes something like this:

It is a sunny Saturday morning, for sure there is a good cricket match/movie on TV or something equally exciting is happening somewhere. You (the guy) have been dragged out of bed (oh what a warm bed it was!) just because your 'female friend' wants to go shopping and she can't find anyone else (stupid enough) to go with her!

When she pounced on you as you were enjoying the warmth of your bed you finally understood how a deer feels when it sees a lioness pouncing on it. You swear to all the Gods of all the religions that next time you WILL NOT pick up the phone. Next time you will CONTROL your emotions and if need be you will be RUDE. Then (being a man) you face reality. You stop lying to yourself and accept that you are now trapped.

Now you are standing in some XYZ shopping mall (man they are springing up everywhere, like trees used to some time ago!), staring out into space. You feel itchy all over and your eyes refuse to focus. Your brain is working as well as a car engine without fuel. You realise that if someone asked you what 2+2 equals to you wouldn't know.

You tried (for the millionth time) to get a list of things your 'female friend' is shopping for. But every time you get a different list. Then you realise there is no list. The cat is just playing with the mouse (you are the mouse here!).

You watch as she picks up one item, looks at it, rotates it, thinks about it then puts it back on the shelf. This is like the old Chinese water torture for you. Each time she does this your blood pressure increases thinking that yes she will buy something and that will be one item less on the 'imaginary list of things to be purchased'.

Then comes the time when she asks your opinion on some thing. That is the time you feel like the prime suspect in a double murder case. You know anything you say can and WILL be used against you in all future fights. You know there are no right answers. You are sure that girls ask for your opinion just to check that yes you are still alive and have not turned into a walking vegetable.

Then comes the time for relase. When she says the magic words 'Lets go home I am tired'. You are just too happy to even think about the irony of the statement (since you have been carrying all the bags!).

Obviously as you near the exit your expectations of a swift release are dashed each time she stops to explore a store. But you are also bit happy as long as the overall movement is towards the exit.

You reach home. She is happy. She quickly does a survey of what she bought. If she bought something for you then you get to go and try it then and there (even if you don't want to!).

She is happy because she went 'shopping'. You are happy because the torture is over. Both of you are happy because.....

obviously you know why the both of you are happy....

still not sure....

ok let me spell it out for you... both of you are happy because YOU LOVE EACH OTHER and managed to spend the WHOLE DAY together (who cares if it was constructive or not).

P.S.: This is a PURELY FICTIONAL ACCOUNT created out of years of experience backed by observations.

If guys can understand mascara why can't girls understand speakers...

2008-09-01T00:09:00.003+01:00

Was talking to a friend of mine. He told me that he gave his girlfriend a mascara and cream set from Body Shop. His girlfriend was quite impressed with the gift.

Then the other day a different friend asked me about mp3 players because she wanted to gift one to her boyfriend on his birthday. In the end she went with him and got him the one he liked.

My point is simple... if guys can take a lot of interest in what girls like then why can't girls do the same? The standard excuse given by girls is that 'they don't understand electronics and wires' or it is 'too technical'.

Does that mean that girls are admitting to be dumb? :D

You decide!

A Tasty and Light Peanut Salad

2008-08-31T23:49:00.006+01:00

Here is a light and tasty salad which can be made in 15 minutes. It is my own recipe (so try at your own risk :P).

Credits: Amol Chavan for the dish shown in the picture. ;)

Ingredients:

- Peanuts - two handfuls

- One chopped onion

- 14-15 small cubes of cottage cheese (paneer)

- One sliced tomato (big slices)

- Boiled Kala Chana (Yellow Gram)

- One sliced Gherkin

- Salt

- Soy Sauce

- Red chili powder

- Less than one teaspoon oil

- Lemon juice

Stir fry peanuts with chopped onions, tomatoes and cottage cheese cubes in a non-stick pan using less than one teaspoon oil.

Add salt, red chili powder and soy sauce when the onions turn brown.

Remove above from flame, mix Kala Chana and sprinkle lemon juice to taste.

Sprinkle sliced Gherkin pieces on the salad.

ENJOY!

When Google Maps came calling...

2008-08-28T22:54:00.003+01:00

Google Maps (Google Earth) is going to implement streetview in UK. Which means you can watch the actual location in 3-D through Google Maps or Google Earth.

Today as I was leaving my house I saw a car with a mounted camera driving into our lane.

It was the Google Maps car! It was quite a coincidence that I happened to be out when the car came. Our street is a short dead-end street so it was pure luck that I caught their car. Here are few pictures:

Why?

2008-08-28T09:35:00.003+01:00

Why does the alarm ring during the BEST part of your sleep?

Why can we not talk on cell-phones in a restaurant, I mean other people are talking with each other then why can't I talk to someone through my cell?

Why do we allow politicians to take us for a ride every time there is an election?

Why do people wish for 'magic wands' when they know there is no such thing?

Why does love have to be so difficult yet so enjoyable?

Why can we not get free ketchup at burger joints?

Who's website is this?

2008-08-13T15:58:00.002+01:00

Guess who's website is this?

If you guess BharatMatrimony you are wrong... this is the Indian Railways website for booking tickets!

I guess they want you to find a girl while you are booking tickets. Or maybe in the matrimonial site they have special matching by frequent train journeys so like in Hindi movies, in real life too people can meet on a train and fall in love ;)

Girls (Ladies) are silly... why?

2008-08-13T15:46:00.004+01:00

A conversation with a friend about the Ladies Coach on the Mumbai Local Trains.... ;)

A Girl:
its still bad yaar
ladies r so so so....i dotn know

Azahar:
?

A Girl:
arre bahut cunning
shrewd
n rude
n blatant
n i dont know what all

Azahar:
:D

A Girl:
they figure out if the person is new

Azahar:
then

A Girl:
then kya nohting
n they puch equally badly
push

Azahar:
yeah girls are silly i know what u mean
:)

Singh is Kinng

2008-08-09T18:17:00.002+01:00

Singh is Kinng (2008)

This is a stupid movie. No doubt about that. So I am not going to talk about how stupid this movie is.

Overall the first 40% of the movie (till just before the interval) is decent and has some new stuff in it. The remaining 60% is a standard Hindi movie. Nothing special there.

This movie highlights the increasing mix of Bollywood with Hollywood. How Western artists like Snoop Dog are being involved in Hindi movies. Hopefully someday soon we will understand what a good movie is like instead of just bringing in white backup dancers, shooting at exotic locations or using Hollywood level special effects for moronic/stupid stunts.

Oh and Katrina Kaif does a brilliant job of proving yet again that she can show just one expression on her face.

Maya (2001)

2008-08-05T02:11:00.003+01:00

Maya is a movie directed by Digvijay Singh. I am not going to review the movie. More information can be found here and here for those who are looking for a review.

I am writing this post to talk about what kind of feelings it generated within me.

It started with a feeling of deep and intense anger. I felt like burning down all temples, maiming and casterating the priests involved in such a ritual. I also felt ashamed to call myself a Hindu. I felt that Hinduism as a religion is based on things that have now lost their context. Like most religions Hinduism is like a building being built on a rotten foundation.

Then came acceptance. We cannot look at situations from the outside and judge them. One cannot loose sight of the context. If you do that then you are as guilty as the ones who you are fighting against. I realised this fight was not with people but belief.

Finally came anger at the stupid way in which the movie has been laid out. How the director uses the worst possible way to shock people without giving any deeper understanding of the issues. There are many questions that the director has left un-answered.

Keeping all this in mind I cannot tell people not to watch this movie. In fact I want to FORCE people to watch this movie. The tragedy is that this is not a 'special' movie. It is the subject that is special. It goes down like a bitter pill which everyone (especially people inclined towards religion) should swallow.
The failing of this movie is that you discuss the movie and the issues it is based on separately. In a well made movie the movie is the issue and the issue is the movie.

Go watch it!

I asked God...

2008-07-28T13:24:00.001+01:00

I asked God to take away my pain. God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No. Her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as he loves me. God said... Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

These lines were sent by a friend. I really liked them especially the second last one.

Calling all Teenagers: BharatMatrimony.com

2008-07-25T13:24:00.003+01:00

Check out this highly idiotic ad for BharatMartimony.com (BM.com).

It seems to advertise the fact that BM.com caters to teenagers with 'Ash' fantasies rather than people looking to get married. Or maybe they think NRIs use only the brain between their legs when evaluating a match?

Somehow I don't see any normal person (let alone an NRI) saying to himself "Man I gotta get me a gal that looks like Ash, then I can marry her"

Also look at the genius bit of phrasing: "Find love within a few miles"
It reminded me of the 'Store Locators' that most retail chain websites have where you enter your postcode and you get the contact information for nearby branches.

This ad seems to be targetted more at horny teenagers wanting to get laid by an 'Ash' lookalike. But the funny thing is a horny teenager would already know the location (and other details) of sexy gals within a 2 mile radius of where they live. ;)

FishEyePics

2008-07-25T05:39:00.002+01:00

I will be posting photographs taken by me on FishEyePics:

http://www.fisheyefocus.com/fisheyepics

Hope you enjoy!

About the new look...

2008-07-24T07:10:00.004+01:00

I have recently changed the look and feel of my blog.

Let us see what everyone thinks of it. Feel free to comment!

The pic in the header (the three green marbles) was taken by me.

Those are not ordinary marbles. They are radioactive marbles (very low levels) which fluoresce under UV light (the blue patch). The lines are the surface of the cushion on which the marbels were kept.

VG assissted in taking the photograph by holding the UV lightsource at a particular angle! So partial credit goes to her for helping me setup the photo!

Hancock

2008-07-24T02:32:00.002+01:00

Hancock is an AMAZING movie. It is a difficult movie to categorise. It just doesn't fall into one class. That is the beauty of this movie.

It is a very different kind of movie. Good fun with lots of light and funny moments as well as fast paced action. Will Smith plays the role of Hancock - a misfit superhero.

It is a must watch movie. Go get the DVD or go catch it in the theatre.

I will not write a detailed review except give it a 9 out of 10. Go WATCH IT!

Destroy everything you touch...

2008-07-15T04:56:00.004+01:00

http://fisheyefocus.com/fisheyeview/?p=11

Destroy everything you touch.... read it... not too late... yet!

India in the World: Part III - Water

2008-07-13T19:50:00.001+01:00

The post is here:

http://fisheyefocus.com/fisheyeview/?p=9

India and water issues there...

Enjoy!

From Azahar to Uncle via Bhaiya

2008-07-08T01:12:00.003+01:00

The other day a friend of mine from India, asked me if there were a lot of Indian girls at the university where I am doing my Ph.D. from.

I told him yes and every year there are more and more students from India.

So he jokingly replied - I should find some Indian female students to coach.

I replied - yes and they will call me 'bade bhaiya' (elder brother).

He replied - the newer batches would be different.

I replied - yeah that newer batches will call me uncle!

Race - Full Speed Backwards!

2008-07-06T06:07:00.002+01:00

I had expectations when people who have similar tastes in movies recommended this movie.

I had misgivings when I saw the trailer. But I put all those misgivings aside and decided to see the movie.

My GOD what an IDIOTIC movie. If the predictable story (due to bad edit effects in the hospital scene) and downright moronic special effects were not enough, some b-grade humor by Anil Kapoor and blank expressions by the 'trophy actresses' - Sameera Reddy and Katrina Kaif made sure that I had wasted two and a half hours of my life.

The final scene has the worst special effects I have ever seen. I think the special effects in some of the computer games I play are much better.

The twists and turns in the movie feel forced and pasted on. In the end mostly to extend the movie.

The only thing good about the movie was the eye candy in form of Katrina Kaif and Sameera Reddy (I don't like Bipasha that much ;) and the title song of the movie (it comes during the title roll at the end). The Johnny Lever comedy scene was cute and predictable.

One thing I don't understand is why did Akshaye Khanna and Bipasha get married in a church? Why were they wearing black to mourn Saif's death?

Come on guys I know this is a normal Hindi movie so I don't expect it to be a study in logic. But at least let us not confuse our religion!

The songs just spring up like weeds in between the movie without any reason (thank god I could skip them!).

Other than that the movie is crap. Just keeps twisting and turning till you get fed up and want the movie to end.

I think we need to improve our copying skills. I say that if you want to copy at least copy well!

What they wanted was a fast-paced thriller. What they got was an F1 track with speed-breakers after every 100 meters.

Yawn!

My new blog - Fish Eye View

2008-07-05T21:28:00.002+01:00

I will be posting on two blogs (for the moment). As a friend suggested, post funny cool things here and more serious stuff on my new personal blog.

:)

It is called Fish Eye View because I am a Piscean and it talks about how I see the world!

So the link to my new blog is:

www.fisheyefocus.com/fisheyeview

Hope you enjoy reading it.

Looking forward to comments and feedback!

Long Live India: A Land of Hindu Shame?

2008-06-30T04:21:00.003+01:00

The land of God or the land that God forgot?

India advertises itself as a 'secular democracy' but the religious divide runs deep. It can be seen in the top layers of the Government as well as at the grass-roots level.

The Indian public is simply the most gullible and idiotic when it comes to differentiating between information and opinion. We are very quick to react and the reactions can be extreme.

These reactions are fueled by lack of resources. With a population of 1 billion+ and growing no wonder the incidents of violence are increasing in frequency and magnitude.

More and more people are fighting for the same set of resources. Some people get lucky and those who don't get more and more frustrated. This was the classical scenario which Hitler used to spread propaganda against the Jews.

I think we Indians need to learn how to differentiate between opinion and information. Greater access to facts and figures rather than opinion and hearsay will empower the people.

Another thing that we need to do is to eliminate the middle layer which brings the political message to the masses. This means getting rid of the hands and legs of the political machinery which is used during critical periods.

Remove one politician and you will find hundred others waiting to take their place. Remove one middle man or make political associations a liability then there will be no way that people will be manipulated into doing things (like starting riots).

The Approximate Doctor

2008-06-28T03:35:00.003+01:00

Life is full of approximates. We have approximate times, approximate dates and even approximate amounts of money.

But I realised life is full of approximate academic achievements. Often people are stuck in between the exam and the result. Or the result and the award of the degree.

No one knows this better than a Ph.D. student. One gets used to these 'in-between' periods.

If nothing else, a Ph.D. surely teaches you to be patient.

From the seemingly interminable wait for the viva to the end stage delays. From university procedures that converts a gap of few weeks to a gap of few months. Even after the viva things do not change. Informally you can call yourself a Doctor (if you so wish) but to adopt the title formally you need to wait some more time! Till then you are an approximate Doctor! ;)

Five Questions in Life...

2008-06-25T02:32:00.003+01:00

The other day I came across five important questions related to something I was working on.
These five questions were:

1) What have you done?
2) Why have you done it?
3) How did you do it?
4) What have you found?
5) What are the implications of these?

I thought these five questions pretty much represent the doubts and conflicts of life.

What have you done?
What have we done in life is something that keeps us awake at night sometimes. Everyone comes across this question at least once in their life. Have we done anything at all in life? Or are we wasting it one day at a time.

Why have you done it?
Why did you do something. Why did you NOT do something? Remember there is action in inaction. Doing nothing also means you are doing something. But why was it done. The motivation is important. One often asks this question especially after difficult moments in life.

How did you do it?
This is another question that keeps us guessing after the fact. After tough periods one always ends up wondering 'how did I get through it'. After doing something amazing people wonder how they did it. Most people are not able to answer this question or answer it with statements like 'it was luck' or 'Thank God!'.

What have you found?
This is one of the most important questions in life. What have you found? In your journey of life what all things have you come across. What were you searching for and what did you find? Did you find what you were searching for? Or did your finding what you were searching for lead to another search.

What are the implications of these?
This is perhaps the most important question. Things we have done, things we have found. What do they mean? What are the implications. What did we gain/loose while finding or doing these things? This is where the accounts are balanced.

So remember these five important questions... and I hope they give you some direction in life.

Stars in a bottle!

2008-06-21T12:46:00.000+01:00

These are the pics of a 'USB glitter lamp' that I have. Some I took out-of-focus to give the the glitter effect.

Enjoy!

Dor - A fascinating half-movie

2008-06-19T12:35:00.004+01:00

A friend of mine had been telling me to watch the movie 'Dor' for the last 6-7 months.

'Dor' means a thread. This movie is heavy with symbolism.

The story line is simple and there are just four main characters in the movie.

Inspite of this the story brings together several different themes such as: people going to work in the Middle East for money, the plight of widows in Rajasthan, the problems faced by women in general, the status given to women across the different states in India.

Note: Since this movie is available on DVD/VCD I would advise readers not to watch the whole movie at one go unless you are really relaxed and can concentrate on what is happening. This is not the kind of movie you can watch with one eye on food and one eye on the screen or when you are half asleep after a days work.

To appreciate you should watch the movie when you WANT to watch it.

I watched the movie in three parts over a two day period.

One of the most amazing thing about this movie (apart from the story) is the location. It is filmed in Rajasthan (in and around Jodhpur) and the scenery is 'jaw-dropping'. The amazing desert vista will make you eyes pop out.

There are a few scenes filmed filmed somewhere in the Himalayas (according to the movie Himachal Pradesh) which are equally beautiful.

The movie talks about the meeting of two worlds.
On one side we have the restricted and life-less world of the young widow (Ayesha Takia).
On the other hand we have the tough yet happy life of the new bride (Gul Panag).

The unhappy state of women (especially widows) is a true reflection of the state of affairs in the villages of Rajasthan. The movie also touches upon the high rate of female infanticide in Rajasthan (which now has a female Chief Minister!).

Opposite to that we see the relatively free and bold women of the hills. This too is a typical state of affairs. Women in the mountain states of India, such as Himachal Pradesh, are more empowered than their desert counterparts.

I am glad that I saw the full movie before I deicded to write a post about it.
The movie develops normally till about the last 40 minutes or so when so many things start to happen that it feels as if the makers of the movie realised midway that the movie was going to be too slow for normal public. This means the thread of the story gets lost in between.

This means that ending of the movie is fairly cliched and disconnected.

One wonders why actors, when they are leaving on a train, always end up taking the seat on the side of the platform.

I was also disappointed that the interaction between the widow and the new bride is not developed further after the truth comes out.

The involvement of Nagesh Kukunoor (who is not at all convincing as 'Mr. Chopra') feels added on after the fact.

It seems as if the makers of the movie lost faith in what they were doing mid-way and then decided to bend the storyline to bring it closer to something less unique.

All said and done.. this movie is worth watching once.
If not the whole movie then at least the first 80 minutes or so.
That is where the magic of this movie lies, the symbolism simply amazing.

Another funny quote...

2008-06-19T04:52:00.001+01:00

Onslow (Keeping Up Appearances) - "To me the Kama-sutra was an owner's manual"

A funny quote...

2008-06-18T23:03:00.001+01:00

Rodney Dangerfield - "I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."

We pay in diamonds...

2008-06-15T12:39:00.002+01:00

People talk about the colonial-era Britain robbing the wealth of India. But where was 'India' before the British?

The Indian sub-continent was divided. The British came and unified it. In its unification they sowed the seeds of their downfall.

A united India directed all its energy against its colonial masters. The creation turned against the creator. But as the creator (the British) beat a hasty retreat they took away the perceived wealth of India including one of the world's most famous diamonds: the Koh-i-noor.

Since then there have been demands for the return of Koh-i-noor by India and Pakistan.

But why do we want it back? I think the diamonds and other precious jewels they took should be considered as payment for uniting the country (among other things like the English language because of which India is doing so well in the service sector). A diamond sitting in a museum gathering dust is no way any better than a unified India with a strong and vibrant economy.

The way you pay the barber after getting a haircut or the doctor after getting a check-up I think it is fit that we pay this 'fee' to the British for uniting India.

Politics of International Economics: Educating the Masses

2008-06-13T18:17:00.003+01:00

Growning inflation... recession... economic slowdown... credit crunch...

We are all aware of these headlines. The world economy seems to be melting and the rising oil and food prices are not helping.

Today I was watching Madam Sonia Gandhi addressing the masses (in Hindi no less!).

She was explaining how international economic meltdown is driving the inflation up. She went on to state how the government had tried to absorb the impact and is protecting the common man.

A funny thought came to my head as I was watching her speak. I thought that how come people listening to her speech manage to keep a straight and serious expression when her Hindi pronunciation is so funny. It is like watching a tourist talking in Hindi.

Seeing the other people on the stage with such serious expression made me realise that fear and power work well to kill laughter.

It was also amazing to see India's politicians working overtime to save their asses especially since the general elections are coming up next year (2009). Trying to explain to the people why things are getting expensive and how it is not the fault of the Government.

Maybe she should have given the people a presentation on international financial markets and macroeconomics to drive home her point that IT IS NOT the Government's fault!

Adding to this the looming threat of BJP (which seems to be back with a bang - without a leader!). BJP has won in the recent elections in South India.

Congress (which currently controls the Central Government) is worried.

I think the Government is responsible. The main reason is corruption and re-routing of funds meant for development. They make the classic mistake of treating the symptoms and ignoring the disease. Wiping away farmer loans but not doing anything to bring development to the villages.

And so are we.

We operate more on opinion than information. The Indian public looks at the local picture and ignores what is happening in the world. We have been complaining about the infrastructure ever since I can remember. But nothing has happened yet. Why? Because we don't educate ourselves.

We go out and drive like idiots. Spit/throw garbage on the roads. Have about zero patience and of course want to get our work done first!

Maybe there is a need to educate the masses. Educate them in macro-economics as well as civic sense.

Clifton on a sunny day!

2008-06-13T17:24:00.004+01:00

The Clifton Bridge.

The Christ-church in Clifton.

Arch of water.

The sun-shines down.

Another view of the span.

The cliff with the Observatory and balcony.

Aircraft high above.

Pink cloud-streams.

Sunrise from my window.

"If no one is going to read me in one hundred years, why should I write at all"

2008-06-13T02:00:00.004+01:00

A few days ago I slept. I slept like a dead man. I slept because I was exhausted.
Emotions were trying to crowd into my head. So I went off to sleep.

I got up few hours later with my mind absolutely blank.

It felt as if I was floating.
I forgot that it was dinner time and that I was hungry.
I forgot I had work to do. I was floating somewhere between worlds.

Then thoughts started entering my mind. I was returning to Earth. I was falling back to Earth.
I could see my whole life ahead. I had questions. Was anything worth it? We all have to die one day then why struggel.

As I continued falling towards Earth the view became more localised. Now I was asking questions about the weeks ahead. How, what, when?

As I was about to crash into the ground I realised where I was and the things I had lined up ahead. The work that I had to do in the night. Things pending.

Suddenly I was back on Earth. Focus on what was immediately in front.

That is when I realised my body was broken and shattered from the fall. I could see the grass in front of my face, I could see the flowers. The focus was back. But I was unable to do anything with it.

I was a dying man. I could feel it. I was happy. The struggle was over.

Then I saw standing above me a figure full of light. I realised it was me. It was my essence. Slowly I felt the light seep into me. My broken body healed. I could move. I could stand and then I could fight again.

As an actor once said in some movie..
"If no one is going to read me in one hundred years, why should I write at all"

Floating is amazing.
There is only reason why one might want to come back to Earth - to do something that leaves a lasting impression on humanity.

Flowers again!

2008-06-12T02:14:00.002+01:00

A few summer flowers!

Water Diamond

2008-06-11T16:06:00.005+01:00

Some pictures taken at a fountain by me. No lengthy words.. just enjoy the necklace of diamond like water-drops and the reflection of the late evening sun

About women...

2008-06-11T12:42:00.003+01:00

Story 1
Yesterday I was watching some random movie on TV.

In the movie the guy and gal are having a discussion. Suddenly the girl says 'I am getting fat, I need to start going to the gym'

The guy looks confused for a second, not sure of what to reply.

Before the guy can think of what to say the girl says 'Do we have any left over pizza from the dinner, I am feeling hungry'

Story 2
I was chatting with a lady-friend the other day and the conversation turned towards skin creams (I don't know how). She happened to remark that if she were to carry all the creams that a woman can use she would need a small suitcase along with her handbag.

That made me curious so I asked her to list out a few and here they are:
- Hand cream
- Under-eye cream
- Night cream
- Body lotion
- Cuticle oil
- Anti-aging cream

Enlarged shots of the moon...

2008-06-01T04:41:00.002+01:00

Enlarged shots of the moon... I hope everyone enjoys it!

The Tsar

2008-05-31T02:00:00.002+01:00

Most amazing video I have ever seen. The largest nuclear bomb ever tested. 50-58 Megatons (~58 million tons of TNT). This is equal to 10 times the total amount of explosives used in the Second World War.

It is amazing we were able to create something like this. We have enough explosive power to crack open the crust of the Earth like an egg shell. Probably the next step is a nuclear explosion in space to simulate what kind of damage it can cause.

I am in favour of such tests. Better to know what these weapons are capable of so that people think 100 times before they use it in aggression.

If you have a gun, might as well learn to use it well so that you don't end up shooting yourself in the foot by accident!

Another amazing video... love the last bit. I wish I can see a nuclear explosion in my lifetime (especially the mushroom cloud!). The new Indiana Jones movie (The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) has a scene in which Indy just survives a nuclear explosion and he is shown staring at the mushroom cloud.

J. Robert Oppenheimer the physicist who headed the Manhattan Project (also known as the Father of the Atomic Bomb) is said to have quoted the Bhagvad Gita when he saw the first nuclear explosion.

Oppenheimer later would be persuaded to quote again in 1965 for a television broadcast (from Wikipedia):

“ We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.' I suppose we all thought that, one way or another "

How true he was... except I would like to make two minor modifications to the above quote:

"We are Death, the destroyers of Earth"

And this relates not just to the Nuclear Bomb or other weapons. But to our complete disregard for the environment.

With a heart of stone and flowers in my eyes...

2008-05-29T17:04:00.007+01:00

My sweet little flower...

A fountain of pink..

Another fountain...

Flower with a delicate center... see the patterns in the yellow bit...

Another view

See the edge of the yellow center... how delicate it looks!

Another view...

Delicate pinks..

White flowers...

Yellow, white and green!

White in front yellows at the back! Line up everyone...

Dark greens, mud and a cloudy sky... that is how the city looked that day!

Foreground, background, the lookout point and the sky!

Veins in the cliff..

Another view looking West...

1/4 foreground and 3/4 background

1/4 foreground and 3/4 background - slightly different

Wood, water and stone

Images of Summer (May 2008)

2008-05-29T16:26:00.003+01:00

Beee-zy at work!

Not a 9-5 job!

Bristol - the trees and the mud.

Look at the rock... look at the ROCK!

Cliff face - old and green.

Flowers in a line.

The Clifton Bridge against a grey and angry sky!

South-side tower of the Clifton Bridge.

The curve of the suspension cables.

The full bridge!

Pink flowers...

Pink, red, green and grey...

Bristol

The Clifton Bridge

A sea of green..

Never give up the good fight!

2008-05-28T23:47:00.003+01:00

And come down and put your heart in this fight
Ah, Come on and make your stand tonight

Every Move a Picture - Signs of Life

Ever felt like quitting? Ever felt what is the use of all this crap that surrounds us? Ever felt frustrated?

I do. Many times! :) Because I am a human being with normal aspirations and expectations. Sometimes I feel what is the use of all these complications? (Yeah I am a normal person!)

Why do we love, hate, laugh, sing, dance, laugh, cry, kiss, hug, slap, hit, kill, create life?

Wouldn't it be simpler to just live out this life for yourself? Why have other people to worry for you and other people to worry for?

The answer is very simple... because we are supposed to fight! :) The fun is in the fight!

And fight we do. Whether we stay alone or embrace life. Alone we fight with outselves. The negative energy turns inwards. The destructive force channeled inwards.

So better turn the energy towards the world. Negaitve and positive.

Fight the good fight with the world! Live life! :)

And put this post on your favourites list... on bad days read it! :)

Hope it motivates you to continue the fight.

Shots of the New Moon!

2008-05-28T17:10:00.002+01:00

The crescent moon!

Long exposure of the new moon.

One in a....

2008-05-28T16:48:00.002+01:00

There are approximately 6.6 billion people in the world.
The population of India is approximately 1.1 billion.

So next time you tell someone that they are one in a million (or as we say in India (lakhon mein ek - one in a hundred thousand)... it means there are about:

-> 6,600 people like them in the world

-> 1,100 people like them in India

A Tale of Two Summers...

2008-05-27T01:28:00.004+01:00

The British Summer

Bristol - 27th May 2008; 1:00 AM

Current Nearest Observations:
Cloudy 11°C with Max of 25°C
North Easterly Wind (19 mph)
Relative Humidity (%): 78,
Pressure (mB): 1011, Rising,
Visibility: Very good

The Indian Summer

New Delhi - 27th May 2008; 5:30 AM (adjusted for time difference)

Current Nearest Observations:
Clear 25°C with Max of 37°C
N/A (0 mph)
Relative Humidity (%): 88,
Pressure (mB): 1004, Steady,
Visibility: Poor

It has been a funny bank holiday weekend. Rains have embraced Bristol and are not letting go. Even now I can hear the rain beating down on the window behind my head. Delhi has also been enjoying good weather last week or so.

Here during the summer when the rains comes one needs to dig up winterwear. In India when it rains during the summer people go dancing in the rain!
On the other hand people in both the places complain when it rains.
In UK because it eats up the short 'British Summer' and in India because the roads clog up!

Kübler-Ross model: Five steps towards grief management!

2008-05-26T23:16:00.003+01:00

The Kübler-Ross Model lays out a five step process to deal with grief:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Hope this helps you get over problems in life! :)

How women communicate with men?

2008-05-25T01:55:00.004+01:00

How do women communicate with men?

An example I heard of a girl talking with a guy:

"If you had taken my suggestion, I wouldn't have allowed you to buy it"

This is a very good example of multi-level communication. On one level the girl doesn't want to appear too aggressive on the other she wants to firmly state her displeasure. Combining the two allows the girl to command the guy as well as not appear dominating in front of others.

Meow Machwe

2008-05-23T02:15:00.002+01:00

Well several people have expressed a great deal of confusion over me using 'meow' as my status message. Then other's have confused my references to 'cats' as a reference to my girl-friend.

This post is to clarify all the confusion!

Some people like dogs, some people like cats. I happen to belong to the second group. That is why you will find many references to cats in what I write!

I find that there is something mysterious about cats. The way they go about their own business, always cool and calm.

The episodes of cool-anger when they will just sit with their tails wrapped up around you and completely ignore you till you go to pet them. Then they will respond with 'weird' behavior.

'Meow' is indeed a complex creature!

Fruit and Nut!

2008-05-19T02:27:00.006+01:00

Everyone loves Cadbury's Dairy Milk Fruit & Nut!

Cats love it, I love it and even mosquitos love it! :D

People go nuts over it! You give them a huge bar of Fruit & Nut and they don't even share it with you. Forget share, they don't even ask you (out of formality) whether you would like a teeny tiny piece!

I also love Cadbury's Bournville. It has a 'dark chocolate' flavour. I LOVE DARK CHOCOLATE. I don't think cats like this one though! Dark chocolate is an acquired taste!

[Added Later] I stand corrected! Many people love dark chocolate! So I guess by extension cats and mosquitos must also love it!

Similar to the above but with a mint center this is one chocolate which has been my hot favourite since the day I was born (I think). If you are in doubt which chocolate to give me GIVE ME THIS ONE!